The dark-haired man that Veronica Ann Fitzpatrick matched with on Hinge in November 2022 seemed too handsome to her to be real. She thought surely, he must be a “bot.”
“The dating pool does not breed confidence,” said Ms. Fitzpatrick, 40.
So, she initiated a conversation with Kevin Mark Fay and learned that not only was he genuine, he was chivalrous. Mr. Fay had suggested that they meet somewhere between his home in Methuen, Mass., and hers in Providence, R.I. After Ms. Fitzpatrick divulged that she didn’t have a driver’s license, Mr. Fay readily agreed to make the 90-minute drive to her.
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Their first date was on Thanksgiving Eve, at Fortnight Wine Bar.
“I was totally taken aback by how warm he was — and sincere,” Ms. Fitzpatrick said. First dates tend to be formulaic and rote, she said, but this one felt organic and special. At one point during the evening, Mr. Fay placed his hand on Ms. Fitzpatrick’s shoulder as he got up to use the bathroom, a moment she described as “cinematic”; it felt like heat was radiating from his hand.
Ms. Fitzpatrick had also told Mr. Fay that she was a “holiday orphan,” that she’d be spending Thanksgiving alone. Her mother was out of the country, visiting the Philippines. And Ms. Fitzpatrick was new in town, having recently moved to Providence to work as an adjunct assistant professor of film studies at Brown. (She has a bachelor’s degree in English and women’s studies from Michigan State, a master’s degree in creative writing from Notre Dame, and a Ph.D. in English and film studies from the University of Pittsburgh.)
They both joked that Mr. Fay should bring her to his family’s Thanksgiving dinner. “We both kind of weirdly wanted to spend the holidays together even though we just met,” Ms. Fitzpatrick said. Ultimately, she did not attend the Fay family festivities, but Mr. Fay offered to come back the day after to help Ms. Fitzpatrick put up her Christmas tree.
Thus began a “whirlwind of hanging out together,” she said, mostly in Providence. Mr. Fay made the trek to see Ms. Fitzpatrick about three times a week. “It was easy for me to make that decision because I wanted to see her so much,” Mr. Fay, 31, said. “I’d just put on some music and know I was driving someplace great.”
The two wound up spending the rest of the holidays together and were introduced to the other’s family. On Christmas, they stayed at an Airbnb in North Hampton, N.H., where Ms. Fitzpatrick met Mr. Fay’s parents. On New Year’s Eve, Mr. Fay attended a party Ms. Fitzpatrick hosted for her friends.
On some occasions, Ms. Fitzpatrick took a train to Boston, where Mr. Fay would pick her up and take her to the home he shared with his father, Charles Fay Jr., known as Chuck. Mr. Fay had moved in with his father in August 2022 after a previous relationship ended. Formative memories of that time, they said, were simple moments: watching TV, sharing meals or talking on the back patio. Chuck Fay was present for many of those moments.
After a month together, Mr. Fay, who has a bachelor’s degree in business administration from the University of Massachusetts Lowell and works as a golf instructor at Bellevue Golf Club in Melrose, Mass., knew he wanted to marry Ms. Fitzpatrick.
“We’re both so romantic on our own, we just feed into each other in that area,” Mr. Fay said. He had told his father of his plans in January 2023 and recalled his father’s response, that he would be crazy not to propose.
That May, Mr. Fay moved in with Ms. Fitzpatrick in Providence. That same month, Chuck Fay died unexpectedly at 68. Ms. Fitzpatrick, who lost her own father in 2020 and knew how destabilizing grief can be, offered unconditional support.
“I really leaned on her,” Mr. Fay said. “It really solidified our relationship. We got that much closer very quickly.”
In October 2023, less than a year after they met, Mr. Fay proposed in the living room of their apartment. Ms. Fitzpatrick recalled her puzzlement at watching Mr. Fay, who was seated on the couch beside her, attempting to awkwardly push the coffee table away from them with his foot. He was trying to make enough room on the floor to get down on one knee.
“It wasn’t one of those flower petals on the floor types of things,” Ms. Fitzpatrick said of the proposal. “It was really homey.”
The couple married Dec. 21 at Machines with Magnets, an art gallery and event venue in Pawtucket, R.I., in front of 57 guests. The ceremony was officiated by Jenny Johnson, a poet and friend of Ms. Fitzpatrick’s who obtained Rhode Island’s One-Day Marriage Officiant Certification for the occasion.
The man Ms. Fitzpatrick thought was too good to be true is now her husband.
“I’m so blown away by the man Kevin is,” she said. “And that I get to be his partner.”
The post He Wasn’t a ‘Bot,’ but Quickly Became Her Partner appeared first on New York Times.
