Growing up I had to avoid exercise and could not participate in sport. I had eczema, and any exertion caused a painful flare-up.
But in university, I decided to try to break this cycle and signed up for various sport classes. Beginning with badminton and archery, I gradually found myself connecting more closely to my body, learning to listen and take care of it. Eventually, I was brave enough to consider a contact sport. I wanted to train in English boxing, but when I tried to sign up for it, the coach turned me down. His reason: my turban.
I never made it to the ring but was drawn into a fight anyway: a fight for my rights as a woman and as a Muslim to be fully recognised as human and be free from discrimination.
I wear a turban for reasons that should not concern anyone except myself. The turban and other forms of headwear such as a “headscarf” or “hijab” have always been part of my sport outfit and are fully in line with hygiene and safety rules.
I thought perhaps going for another sport would solve the problem, but it didn’t. I joined a volleyball club and applied to take part in amateur competitions. But soon after I had filled in the forms, the coach took me aside and informed me that the referee had told her I would be allowed to train but could not join the team or participate in matches due to the statute of the French Volleyball Federation (FFVB).
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The justification I was given was false. The FFVB’s decision to prohibit the wearing of “religious symbols” including the headscarf did not come into force until September this year, after I had applied to participate in amateur competitions.
“Laicite”, or “secularism”, which is theoretically embedded in the French constitution to protect everyone’s religious freedom, has often been used as a pretext to block Muslim women’s access to public spaces in France. Over several years, the French authorities have enacted laws and policies to regulate Muslim women’s and girls’ clothing. Sport federations have followed suit, imposing hijab bans in several sports, including football, basketball and volleyball, at both the professional and amateur levels.
Motivated by prejudice, racism and gendered Islamophobia, such rules in effect police Muslim women’s choices and bodies. In schools, beaches, swimming pools and other public spaces, we are not allowed to dress in ways in which we feel comfortable.
I know from personal experience how devastating the consequences of these exclusionary and discriminatory bans can be. They can cause a feeling of deep humiliation and trauma and result in women and girls dropping out of sport or other activities they love, being subjected to harmful discriminatory treatment and experiencing devastating impacts on their mental and physical health.
As a result of the hijab ban, I have been forced to take a break from volleyball. I have felt deeply rejected, treated like a being without a soul, without a heart, without rights. For me sport is such an intimate physical activity and it is so closely tied to my physical and mental wellbeing. I miss it every day.
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In the summer, the hypocrisy of France’s hijab ban came to global attention during the Paris Olympics. The fact that French women athletes who wear headscarves were not permitted to compete at the Olympic Games laid bare the racist gender discrimination that underpins access to sport in France. It brought such unfair regulations under more public scrutiny.
An Amnesty International report published before the Olympic Games made clear that under international law, “secularism” is not a legitimate reason for imposing restrictions on the rights to freedom of expression and religion or belief.
France’s bans on religious sport headgear contradict the clothing rules of international sport bodies such as FIFA (the International Federation of Association Football), FIBA (the International Basketball Federation) and FIVB (the International Volleyball Federation). In its research, Amnesty International looked at rules in 38 European countries and found that France is the only one that has imposed bans on religious headwear.
In October, United Nations experts condemned these bans as “disproportionate and discriminatory” and called for their reversal. In a statement delivered to the UN Human Rights Council, the UN special rapporteur on cultural rights said the bans infringe on the rights of Muslim women and girls in France “to freely manifest their identity, their religion or belief in private and in public, and to take part in cultural life”. The UN experts made an unequivocal call on France to “take all measures at its disposal to protect [Muslim women and girls], to safeguard their rights and to promote equality and mutual respect for cultural diversity”.
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Despite such calls and the growing national and international outcry, two bills that seek to ban the hijab in all sports were submitted to the French Parliament in the past year.
I, along with many others, will oppose these outrageous proposals and continue our fight to lift the existing bans.
I remain hopeful. I firmly believe that we can come together to stand up for our rights. Organisations like Amnesty International, the Collective Against Islamophobia in Europe and Lallab, the feminist and antiracist association that I’m part of, should be heard and supported in addressing this gendered Islamophobia.
I also want to acknowledge the collectives working on inclusivity in sport like the Hijabeuses, Sport Pour Toutes and Basket Pour Toutes and sincerely thank them for their courage and bravery. This is not a political or religious fight but one that is centred on our human right to participate in sport. While we are being affected by the violence and oppression that we suffer, together we are creating spaces of struggle, care and solidarity to combat this blatant discrimination.
The author’s last name has not been published due to concerns for her privacy and safety.
The views expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect Al Jazeera’s editorial stance.
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