Most women know of the term menopause, which refers to the natural process when a woman’s ovaries stop producing estrogen and progesterone, ending the menstrual cycle. (According to the Mayo Clinic, the average age most women experience menopause is 51.) But perimenopause—which means “around menopause” and involves menopause-like symptoms such as hot flashes, sleep issues, and menstrual irregularity—is less discussed. Most women notice these changes in their 40s, but some can begin experiencing symptoms as early as their mid-30s. Given the reluctance to talk as openly about perimenopause, it can often be a scary and uncertain time in a woman’s life.
For actor Beth Behrs, who turns 39 later this month, she began experiencing perimenopausal symptoms around the age of 35. As such, she wanted to speak openly about the last anxiety-ridden few years to help others feel less afraid of this very normal period in a woman’s life. Here, Behrs tells Glamour what she’s learned.
Growing up, I remember hearing about menopause, but to me, it seemed so old lady-ish; so far down the line. I thought of a white-haired, beautiful, older woman going through the changes with her body. And the other sad thing? I don’t really remember ever hearing the word perimenopause.
I’m about to be 39 on December 26th, and I’m in perimenopause. It’s been a three year journey trying to figure out what was going on with me and not getting answers. But nobody’s first thought is perimenopause when you’re this young. I would go see doctors, get ultrasounds, and was always told “you’re fine.” Or, specifically from male doctors, “you’re too young for perimenopause.” But I knew something wasn’t right. And now I know that no, your late 30s is not “too young.”
But let me rewind for a minute. I’d been on the pill since I was 16 or 17 because my periods had been so incredibly heavy as a young girl that I was missing my AP tests because I was keeled over in pain. I always had really intense cycles. Ironically, I did not get a regular period through the entire six-year run of 2 Broke Girls. I did so much physical stuff on that show that it consumed me and my body; it was like gymnastics. It also didn’t help that I was in a constant fight with my body, which we now know is disordered eating. My sister is an eating disorder therapist, and ironically, I was always too scared to go to a nutritionist. A very famous producer told me earlier in my career, “Your body better always be bikini ready. You’re on TV now.” And sadly, that’s stuck with me. I genuinely think disordered eating might have made my undiagnosed perimenopause symptoms worse, but I didn’t know.
Then, when I was 35, I froze my eggs because I learned I had an extremely low ovarian reserve. I had to do fertility treatments to have my daughter, who is now almost three. And there’s not enough research on this, but I learned that sometimes fertility treatments can exacerbate [perimenopause].
All of that brings me to what happened a year after welcoming my daughter. I started waking up in the middle of the night with what I thought were fevers, but it felt different from a typical fever. It almost felt like I had a sunburn going up my whole body. And it wasn’t sweaty. No sheet sweat, nothing like that. But it was affecting my sleep, and I was getting really bad insomnia, along with really heavy periods and heavy fatigue. I was gaining weight even though I was still exercising the same and eating healthy. My stomach was so inflamed that I couldn’t even latch my jeans at work. And fine, your metabolism changes in your late 30s. Girl loves a pie, girl loves a cake, but something was just not right. On top of that, I never had trouble learning my lines because at 70 pages an episode, 2 Broke Girls trained me well. So it was the weirdest feeling when I’d be in the middle of a scene on The Neighborhood and my whole mind goes blank. It’s a different kind of brain fog than, ‘I don’t know my lines.’ It’s scary.
Even though my mom went through menopause at a relatively young age, I actually credit my costume designer on The Neighborhood who said, “Do you think it could be perimenopause?” when I explained my symptoms. She’s in her late 40s, and started to go through it as well. She was trying to help me figure out what was happening, as well as my co-star, Tichina Arnold, who has been a great resource.
I eventually was introduced to Dr. Gilberg-Lenz, an OBGYN who specializes in perimenopause and menopause. She has been a game changer for me and helped me figure out what was changing in my body. It wasn’t a great feeling of joy to find out my symptoms were related to perimenopause, but it was a relief that it wasn’t something more serious. And comforting to finally have answers.
I went back on estrogen. I went back on the pill. My periods became so much less heavy. The fatigue was so much better. I still get hot flashes or brain fog occasionally, but at least I know why. I feel like I’ve finally gotten a little bit of control, even though part of it is letting go of the control. I also started working with a nutritionist, Synthia Link, who has taught me about balancing blood sugar for hormones. I eat protein now like it is a full-time job and don’t go four hours without eating. It’s helped tremendously. My bloat is completely gone, and I’m actually eating more than I’ve ever eaten in my life. And spoiler alert, that’s actually better for you.
Now, that doesn’t mean everything is a walk in the park. Your anxiety can exacerbate in perimenopause as well. I’ve learned to put more importance on those little ordinary moments of joy, whether it’s going out in nature, holding my daughter, or being with my animals. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. And you know what? That’s okay, too.
I’ll be turning 40 next year, and I hope by talking about this now, it can help women realize they aren’t alone with the changes they’re going through. By the way, I’m a shit ton happier at almost 40 than I was at 25. And your 20s are a beautiful time in your life. But man, I wish I had the empowered voice that I have cultivated over more years on this Earth than I did back then. Age has never been something that really freaked me out, even though I can see the changes in my face and body whenever there’s a repeat of 2 Broke Girls on. I’m owning who I am now, and I’m empowered by it.
That’s why it’s so important to build a community of people who hear you and listen to you and don’t invalidate your experiences. You don’t have to tell me, ‘I got this’ because I might not ‘got this.’ Just say ‘I’m here for you and I understand what you’re saying.’ Let’s help other women feel less alone as they’re going through some of these hormonal changes.
There’s still some people who think of me from 2013 as Caroline Channing. They’ll be like, ‘Oh, that girl’s in perimenopause!’ And yeah, I may not be rocking those Louboutins as much anymore, but at least I know exactly what kind of wool sweater is not going to trigger a hot flash. And I’ll take it.
The post Beth Behrs: I’m in My Late 30s and in Perimenopause. Here’s What I Wish I Knew appeared first on Glamour.
