If you had asked me what kind of parent I would be a few decades ago, I would have said I’ll rule with an iron fist. In reality, I’ve found that parenting two teenage girls, ages 13 and 15, is far from cut and dry.
The world’s much different now than the one I grew up in, and getting older and wiser has helped me recognize the gray areas of spending.
There are so many more ways for kids to waste money these days, from DoorDash, Starbucks, and Sephora to all the products marketed to them on social media.
I can’t tell you how many times my teens have asked for a $50 tube of mascara or some other “viral” product only because an influencer shared it on social media. Of course, my answer is almost always “No.”
However, as they’ve grown older I’ve started to allow my kids to spend their money how they want. It’s helping them grow in ways I hadn’t expected.
There are certain things I refuse to buy my children
As a parent, I am willing to pay for my children’s basic needs including food, shelter, clothing, typical hygiene items, and anything they need for school.
On the flip side, I am unwilling to pay for splurges like high-end makeup or $100 leggings.
My partner and I rarely buy flashy items or brand-name products for ourselves. We live a debt-free lifestyle, pay for our cars in cash, and hardly ever order food delivery or dine out.
I want my children to become the same responsible, thoughtful consumers we are. That’s why I pay for their needs and they pay for their wants with the money they earn from babysitting and, in the case of my 15-year-old, a part-time job.
This approach teaches them the difference between essential and nonessential items and has led them to realize that there are many nonessentials out there that they don’t want badly enough to pay for themselves.
Case in point: My 15-year-old recently said she would love to order DoorDash at work like some other people do, but doing so would mean forfeiting at least half of her pay for a four-hour shift, which she was unwilling to do.
Tracking their earnings and spending is teaching them the value of money
My teens also see first-hand how quickly their money disappears when they choose instant gratification over savings, which happens all the time.
They have a MONEY Teen Checking account and use the issuer’s mobile app, which lets them see all their purchases in real-time and how much money is in their account.
This led my eldest to ask for a separate savings account in her name, which I helped set up. She frequently transfers money to that account and has a small nest egg to show for it, which I’m proud of.
Some lessons have to be learned the hard way, though, and my 13-year-old has had a bank balance below $10 for several months now.
She loathes the feeling of being broke as well as the limited options that come with it.
For example, she found our annual Black Friday shopping trip “boring” this year since she didn’t have any fun money to throw around. I may or may not have been willing to lend her any money, but the truth is she didn’t ask.
We’re setting a good example
My husband and I both work part-time and are on track to retire completely before age 50.
We also live in a nice home with lots of space for everyone, and my kids go on several family vacations every year.
Despite their young age, they have been to more than 40 different countries.
Ultimately, this means they know we can afford to buy the best items and products but choose not to.
In the end, I can only hope that, when they’re adults, working hard jobs and trying to raise a family, they’ll choose a life of saving over a lifetime of waste and regret.
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