As far as Eleanore S. Wells was concerned, marriage was overrated. She boasted more than 60 years of singledom, and even wrote a memoir, “The Spinsterlicious Life,” as a testament to that belief.
“I’ve always dated, and I liked having boyfriends,” said Ms. Wells, 69. “But I also liked being able to send them on their way when it wasn’t working out.”
In 2015, Ms. Wells, a marketing strategist, moved from New York City to Sydney, Australia, for a two-year work assignment. She created a profile on RSVP, an Australian dating site, hoping to connect with, as she put it, “an Aussie bloke to show me around.”
Anthony John Graham, who was brand-new to online dating, came across Ms. Well’s profile in June 2017. “I saw this wonderful smile, an illuminating smile,” Mr. Graham, 72, said.
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He was further enticed by Ms. Well’s carefree persona. He noted that she didn’t have a list of dictates, like a preferred height or hair color, and that her profile lacked pretentiousness, which he found refreshing. “There was no: ‘I’m looking for a life partner’ or ‘I want to read Byron and Shelley under the moonlight in Tuscany,’” Mr. Graham said.
He sent her a message.
Ms. Wells, who was casually dating two other men and didn’t want to waste Mr. Graham’s time, did not respond, prompting him to send another message after some time had passed.
“It wasn’t easy getting an interview,” Mr. Graham said, jokingly.
But Ms. Wells agreed to meet at the Botanist, a restaurant in Kirribilli, near where she lived. She intended to stay for one drink and politely reject Mr. Graham face to face. They ended up having a couple drinks — and dinner.
“He was better looking than I expected,” Ms. Wells said. And “more charming.”
The two began dating, and Ms. Wells decided to stay in Australia. Both said that they appreciated their contrasting national and racial backgrounds: she as a Black American; he as a white Australian. Their distinct hobbies also kept things exciting. Ms. Wells loves to dance. Mr. Graham does not. He enjoys nature and the outdoors. Ms. Wells, a self-described “city girl,” prefers less-rugged recreation.
“Tony likes to describe himself as a country boy, and he’d want to take me on things like bush walks,” she said. Since meeting him, however, she said she’s become “much more willing to walk in the dirt.”
One thing they always had in common was their love of travel. The couple spends several months every year in the United States, primarily in New York and Washington, where Ms. Wells grew up. They also journey to other parts of the world.
“We are both inquisitive and we don’t say no to any reasonable request to investigate new ideas, new places, new ways,” said Mr. Graham, a retired day trader.
Ms. Wells, who earned a bachelor’s degree in clinical psychology from American University and a master’s degree in social research from Hunter College, works as a freelance marketing strategist and qualitative researcher.
Five years ago, the couple moved in together in Sydney, which Ms. Wells said felt like an even larger commitment than marriage. It became clear then that Mr. Graham was the man she would spend the rest of her life with.
“This was the guy who I knew was going to take care of me and look out for me in all of the right ways, in addition to being interesting and smart and fun,” she said.
Ms. Wells and Mr. Graham discussed the idea of marriage over the years, but neither pressed the issue. Their decision to tie the knot was more practical than romantic. They said that a legal union would make planning for their future easier and they wanted to officially be each other’s next of kin. (Mr. Graham’s previous marriage ended in divorce. He has one daughter.)
So, as somewhat of an afterthought, they decided to marry during a trip they had already planned for November. They would be in the United States to celebrate both Ms. Wells’s birthday and Thanksgiving.
“Being with Eleanore for these seven years has widened my horizon immeasurably and enriched my life immeasurably,” Mr. Graham said. “She does have to sandpaper my rough edges on occasion.”
After sharing the news with family and friends, Ms. Wells said she received countless texts and emails from them, expressing jubilance — and disbelief.
The couple married on Nov. 29, at the Oceanaire Seafood Room in Washington. Ms. Wells’s cousin Amina Brown, who was previously ordained by American Marriage Ministries, officiated in front of about 45 guests.
The wedding did not have the usual trappings. There was no wedding cake or bridal party; nothing borrowed, nothing blue. A few casual speeches were given. Dinner was served, followed by an hourslong party.
Anthony “had a really corny line at the wedding,” Ms. Wells said. “Instead of the seven-year-itch, we got the seven-year hitch.”
The post She Swapped Her ‘Spinsterlicious Life’ for Him appeared first on New York Times.
