I’ve been dreading talking about Psychonauts on here. It’s a franchise that means so much to me, and I’m terrified of being unable to string together the necessary words to properly articulate that. But, here goes nothing!
I remember being a young lad, waddling into a GameStop as happy as can be. I experienced a lot of hardship growing up — both at home and at school. So, GameStop was my “home” for several years of my childhood. I went from section to section, checking out all the newest releases. Admittedly, I was spoiled. Though I came from a “lower-income” household, my grandmother made sure I wanted for nothing. Something I wasn’t able to fully appreciate until I got older.
I’m pretty sure it was Psychonauts‘ cover that caught my eye that day. The cover was green (my favorite color), prominently featuring Razputin (everyone calls him “Raz”) — his eyes focused with one hand extended to fulfill his life’s dream: becoming a Psychonaut. I had to have it, probably trading a bunch of other games in the process. I went home, put that bad boy into my PlayStation 2, and something peculiar happened throughout my time with the game.
‘psychonauts’ saved my life
I didn’t have the worldliness to understand the feelings Psychonauts filled me with. But, as I controlled Raz, gathering his psychic skills, meeting and getting to know the game’s cast of strange, lovable characters? One thing became perfectly clear. Psychonauts understood me. Here, I wasn’t a weird, fat, dark-skinned boy ostracized by my peers at school. Trying and failing to form lasting friendships at the center of a storm I would later identify as “depression.”
In Psychonauts, “weird” was good. It was welcome! Rather than being faced with constant judgment and ridicule, I was finally among people who were just as “out there” as I was! Raz wasn’t just a “character” — he felt like a friend I was helping and rooting for to become his best self! Every character had a story, every location had a purpose. Psychonauts just made sense when it felt like I was in constant misalignment with everything else.
Despite the personal impact it had on me, it’s surprisingly hard to sit down with someone who has no idea what Psychonauts is to recommend to them. Yes, the first game is effortlessly charming, endlessly funny, and has an unprecedented adoration for its characters. It was silly, but between the lines, it knew when to emotionally hit you when you least expected it. To this day, it’s a game I can play and find an interesting new detail or line of dialogue I didn’t catch before.
thank you, double fine
Usually, it’s hard for me to play a game multiple times. But, Psychonauts is special. I love the platforming — as wonderfully floaty as it is — I fell in love with the characters, and I took in the unique, bizarre levels Double Fine expertly crafted. There isn’t a single unintentional bone in the game’s body. You can immediately tell Psychonauts was born with passionate creators at the helm.
Years after I wrapped on the original Psychonauts, leaving with a renewed sense of belonging, Double Fine dropped a bombshell. Psychonauts 2 was in active development. Older and more knowledgeable, video games were no longer just shiny products solely created to distract me. I could specifically point to Double Fine and its founder, Tim Schafer, as having positively changed my life.
I don’t have to tell y’all the now-famous story of Double Fine and Psychonauts. Now, that? That’s something I simply don’t have the words to describe. Which is why we have the epic PsychOdyssey to enjoy! (Seriously, this is one of the greatest video game documentaries of all time. Even if you don’t typically care “how the sausage is made,” PsychOdyssey is a masterpiece.)
until ‘psychonauts,’ the color of the sky in my world was pitch-black
After many trials and tribulations, Psychonauts 2 came out! And it was just as incredible as the first game, if not more so! One of the biggest regrets I have is not giving money to the game’s Fig campaign. I’m so sorry, Double Fine. You were there for me when I needed you the most, but I couldn’t be there for you when it was time to return that love. I was financially struggling. I wanted so, so badly to contribute — but I just couldn’t spare anything. It would’ve been so surreal to see my name in Psychonauts 2‘s end credits, having joined so many fellow Psycho-Nerds who wanted the game as much as I did.
But I did buy the Collector’s Edition later, so I hope that “settles” the score to some degree! I even have a little Psychonauts area in my living room — with the first-edition, misspelled “How Are You Feeling Today?” poster I smile at every time I walk past it.
When Psychonauts 2 was finally in my hands following so many years of waiting and hoping? After the opening cinematic ended and I saw the title screen? I sat there quietly for about 15 seconds, and then, I started bawling. I couldn’t believe it. It was such a surreal moment when the universe “clicked” once more — just as it did when I played the first Psychonauts all those years ago. And when the credits rolled at the end of the game? Cried my eyes out then, too.
‘psychonauts’ will always hold a special place in my heart
Psychonauts was the first time I believe I acknowledged gaming as an art form. The words weren’t there, but the soul was. Tim? Double Fine? Everyone involved in two of the most formative pieces of media in my entire life? I know y’all have better things to do than read as some geek waxes poetic about your games. But, if any of you ever happen to see this? Thank you. I’m not even sure I’d be here right now if it weren’t for you. You showed me that it was okay to be me — to embrace that “weird” rather than suppress it.
I kept going for a long time because of you. Psychonauts is more than a “cult classic.” It’s an experience that gave hope to a little, hopeless boy. Whenever I feel like I can’t move forward, I remember Raz, and I force myself to find the strength to continue. It’s why I want Waypoint to help gamers find heartfelt games made by passionate creators that they don’t know they need — like I needed Psychonauts.
Even if I only help one player connect with a game or developer that changes their life for the better? That makes all of this — the moments of self-doubt, the pressure to make this work, the uphill fight to offer a platform to game developers who deserve it most? Worth every solitary second.
so, this one is for the future
Where the games industry and games journalism can feel malicious, disparaging, and cruel at times? It’s up to y’all — the new graduates with that creative fire in your stomachs, the early twentysomethings who persist in a volatile industry — to carry the torch on behalf of the medium. Because video games, now and forever, are worth the fight. And, trust me, someone out there needs you and your vision more than you realize.
The post ‘Psychonauts’: The Series That Saw Me Before Anyone Else Did appeared first on VICE.
The post ‘Psychonauts’: The Series That Saw Me Before Anyone Else Did appeared first on VICE.
