With Thanksgiving marking the unofficial start of engagement season — late November through Valentine’s Day is when marriage proposals are common — ring buying is top of mind for many couples considering marriage.
The four Cs — carat, cut, color, and clarity — have traditionally been used to evaluate diamonds. Now, couples buying diamond engagement rings have another choice to make: natural diamonds, which are mined from the earth, or lab-grown diamonds, which are man-made but chemically identical.
The once straightforward process of picking a stone is now fraught with confusion. Along with their style preferences, couples are now considering the ethics and sustainability of each type of diamond.
“I was surprised by how much uncertainty and how much of an opinion existed out there on both sides of the fence,” Chris Lawlor, 35, of New York, said about his experience designing an engagement ring for his fiancée in 2021. “People didn’t seem to be on the same page.”
Mr. Lawlor, a founder of Black Creek Digital, an artificial intelligence computing company based in New York, had looked at both natural diamonds and those created in factories using machines that mimic the pressure needed to produce natural stones.
He found the lab-grown stones attractive, but he was also allured by the rarity of natural stones and their long history as the traditional engagement ring stone.
After discussing both types of stones with a jeweler, Mr. Lawlor ultimately designed a ring with a brilliant-cut, natural diamond.
“It came down to the simple fact that engagement rings are a fully emotional purchase,” he said. “You want to make sure that it is special.”
The Rise of Lab-Grown Diamonds
Some people believe that lab-grown diamonds aren’t real diamonds. This is false. They are chemically identical, said Leigh Plessner, the chief creative of Catbird Jewelry in Brooklyn, and just like natural diamonds, lab-grown stones are graded on the four C’s.
When lab-grown diamonds were introduced to consumers in the mid-2010s, they offered the same sparkle as natural diamonds but at a much lower price — by some accounts, 60 to 80 percent lower. The companies that make them also maintain that lab-grown diamonds are more ethically produced and more sustainable.
Lab-grown diamonds make up about a quarter of retail diamond sales, according to Tenoris, a trend analytics company. As they have risen in popularity, so have consumer misconceptions.
“People just hear talking points about conflict diamonds or blood diamonds, or how lab is more sustainable,” said Jennifer Gandia, an owner of Greenwich St. Jewelers in New York. “And that’s not necessarily true.”
The Hunt For Ethical Diamonds
Today’s consumers are increasingly seeking ethical diamonds, which can be both lab-grown or natural diamonds that are sourced or created with minimal environmental impact and without contributing to human rights abuses.
A common misconception is that all natural diamonds are “blood diamonds,” a term for stones that are mined in war zones in parts of Africa and sold to fund armed groups or terrorism. The term was popularized after the 2006 film, “Blood Diamond,” which highlights the connection between mining and the 1990s civil war in Sierra Leone. Couples today still echo concerns based on the film.
The diamond trade is more regulated these days, said Zameer Kassam, a private jeweler based in Manhattan, adding that the United States now allows only stones imported from conflict-free countries.
For natural stones, Ms. Gandia said she focuses on where diamonds are sourced. Her team keeps a record of each diamond it sells using the blockchain traceability platform Tracer, tracking the diamond in its raw state from the mining site to the jewelry counter. All of this information is shared with her clients to show that the diamonds are conflict-free, she said.
Mr. Kassam added that it’s misguided to make a sweeping assumption about all African diamonds, noting that many of the high-quality diamonds found at jewelers these days come from Botswana, a leader in ethical diamonds sourced and sold without human rights issues and with environmentally sound practices. Many diamonds are also sourced in Canada, which is not known to have ethical issues with mining.
Raquel Steineman, 32, and her husband, Brett Steineman, 33, a scientist, credit their gemologist, Virginia Hay-Arthur of Virginia-Ann Design in Frederick, Colo., with putting them at ease about the ethical sourcing of the natural, cushion-cut square diamond in Ms. Steineman’s engagement ring.
“I know there has been controversy around this for years,” said Ms. Steineman, a public relations executive from New York. “But there is nothing like knowing this diamond is uniquely mine and cannot be repeated.”
While enthusiasts of lab-grown diamonds point to the ethics and sustainability of their choice, some jewelers, even those who sell lab-grown stones like Ms. Gandia, believe that marketing for these gems can be misleading.
It’s a common misconception that the only way to ensure a conflict-free diamond is to not mine one at all. While the lab-grown industry remains unregulated in many parts of the world outside the United States, and there is less transparency about production location, working conditions, labor rights and the energy output needed to produce a diamond in a lab, some consumers prefer a diamond without a back story.
“We both felt good about a diamond that didn’t have a dark past,” Vix Reitano, 36, said of choosing her engagement ring with her husband. Ms. Reitano, the chief executive of Agency 6B in New York, explained that her husband, Brian Baxter, 49, a scientist and assistant professor at Weill Cornell Medicine, had researched several brands and their business practices before they decided to purchase an emerald-cut, lab-grown diamond from Brilliant Earth, a jewelry company based in San Francisco that sells both lab-grown and natural diamonds and that markets itself as selling only ethically sourced stones. “I will only opt for lab-grown diamonds,” Ms. Reitano added.
The Price to Sparkle
Rings can also be pricey. The average cost nationwide of an engagement ring was $5,500 last year, according to a survey by the wedding planning company the Knot, though prices can easily move into six-figure territory or higher.
Price is often a major factor driving the decisions of couples who opt for lab-grown diamonds. Because stones made in a lab are continuously produced, there is plenty of supply, lowering the cost. Couples looking for a specific cut, color or size also have a larger catalog to choose from.
Hannah Nowack, the senior weddings editor of The Knot, said that lab-grown diamonds were a solution for those “unwilling to sacrifice stone size due to budget constraints.”
Tina Khiani said she told her husband, Malcolm Bates, a lawyer, that she “wanted a big rock, and he didn’t fail to deliver.” The couple, both 33 and based in Haddonfield, N.J., married on Oct. 29, 2022, in Philadelphia. Ms. Khiani wore a brilliant-cut, lab-grown diamond ring weighing 4.8 carats.
“No one can tell whether my diamond is traditional or lab-grown,” said Ms. Khiani, the owner of the Mama Coach, which provides lactation consulting for new mothers. “What people notice is the size of the diamond.”
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