A mother has spoken of her heartbreak over an awkward situation where one of her twin daughters was invited to a party, but the other wasn’t.
In a viral TikTok video shared to @thefoxsaystwins, she explains: “I knew this day would come eventually, but I didn’t expect it to happen at this age.” She made it clear that it was an “all or nothing” situation, saying, “Either both are going to the party, or neither are.”
Five-year-olds Jayna and Kinsley, who live in Los Angeles, California, are in the same class, and their mother Kristen expressed how painful it was to think about one sister being left out. “I literally cannot think about the hurt that will cause in the girl that was not invited,” she said.
Newsweek discussed the November 13 post, which has more than 478,000 views, with parenting expert Ana Anzar.
She said: “It is understandable that this mother is worried that the twin who is not invited to the party will have her feelings hurt. However, she must also consider that the twin who was invited may resent her and her sister for not being able to attend the party.”
Anzar, a child psychologist and founder of REC Parenting, an online platform supporting parents and caregivers, emphasized that it was important for parents of twins to teach their children to be their own person and show them that life will “not always be equal and fair.”
She also pointed out that situations like this will occur more often as the twins get older, and the mother should prepare them to face these challenges.
She added: “Talking openly about how they will not always be invited to the same parties, how this makes each one of them feel, and how to deal with these feelings is definitely a good idea.”
The post sparked a discussion online, with many users urging the mom to let the invited girl go.
“Mom of 2 sets of twins—just take the one that was invited!! It’s ok for them to do things solo. The other twin can have a special day out with dad, grandparent, babysitter, etc.,” advised one user.
“The invited twin goes to the party. They aren’t 2 halves of a whole, they are separate people with individual likes and friendships,” said another.
“Adult twin here. Please let your kids have their own friend groups. I never wanted to be forced to go places just because my sister was invited, and same for her. I know you are protecting their feelings,” said a third commenter.
The mother responded: “They can totally have their own friend groups … But when they’re in the same class and most of the other class is invited … I have a problem.”
Newsweek reached out to @thefoxsaystwins for comment via email. We could not verify the details of the case.
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