This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Winnie Thompson, a 35-year-old business owner in Atlanta. The following has been edited for length and clarity.
A single mother raised me, and I am the youngest of three.
I got pregnant when I was 16 and gave birth to my son two weeks after I turned 17 years old. Getting pregnant as a teenager wasn’t what I planned or expected, but it happened, and I became a single mom myself.
Now he’s off to college, and I’m trying to figure out what to do next with my life. I get to explore the things I was into as a teen because I had to put my life on hold to be a responsible mom for my son.
My mom supported me during my pregnancy
When I told my mom I was pregnant, she first said, “Come here, hug me. I will never leave you — we will make it through this together.” I’ll never forget that moment because I was terrified.
It was an interesting dynamic in our household because my mom was one of the thousands of people who experienced layoffs during the 2008 recession.
We were homeless for a while, so I had to live with a family friend while with a newborn baby, and sometimes we were in extended-stay hotels.
While in school, I worked a retail job and at a call center, making minimum wage, but I was able to help my mom with bills
My son and I experienced everything together — high times and low times
I eventually moved out at 20 with my son to get to a one-bedroom apartment in St. Louis. I had a pull-out sofa that doubled as a bed, so sometimes, we would share a bed in the bedroom, or sometimes, he would sleep in the bed, and I would sleep on the sofa.
This apartment felt like a “home” for us. We painted the apartment together and had a great community around us that helped us out. We grew up together in our place until a massive tornado came through and condemned our entire apartment complex.
We found an apartment two miles away from the one destroyed by the tornado. This became our home, and it was here that we started a business together. We called it Books and Bros, a book club for boys that amplifies African American literature through a subscription box service.
In 2018, I met the man who would become my husband
When I met my now-husband, I made it clear to him that while he pursued a relationship with me, he had to earn the trust of my son, who was 14 at the time. Marwin jumped right in and fully supported me and my son.
By the time my son was in high school, I had become an entrepreneur. We moved to Atlanta, and my son started applying for colleges. This was the first time we were craving out paths of our individuality.
For him, that meant applying to the colleges he wanted to get into and exploring different majors. For me, it meant exploring what I couldn’t do as a young woman because I became a mom.
It’s the first time we are apart
My husband Marwin stepped up at this time and helped my son with the business. He also took him to his football games and helped me emotionally prepare for the reality of having another child 15 years later. We welcomed a little girl together.
When it was time for my son to graduate, my friends teased me and thought I would cry at his High School graduation because we had grown up and had so many experiences together, but I didn’t — I was just in the moment and very proud of him.
His acceptance into American University in Washington, DC, was exciting and proud. It hit me that he was not only going to college but would also live in a new city by himself. It would be our first time without each other. Everything I’ve done, from where I lived to the jobs I decided to work, is tied to him.
I’m now 35 years old, have a son in college out of state
I’m finding myself in a space of discovering what I dreamt about when I was 15. Because that’s how far back I have to go to remember my dreams.
I don’t know what it’s like to explore messing up as an adult and not being responsible for anyone. I love dance, so I signed up for tap dancing classes.
I was so used to being in the background; now I’m growing a business, telling my story more publicly, and honoring the woman who I never got a chance to embody before becoming a mom.
It’s hard emotionally to be away from my son. I can’t walk past his room without my stomach turning into a knot. It’s all good feelings; it’s just an adjustment.
The post I was 17 when I gave birth to my son. Now that he’s off to college, I’m trying to figure out who I am. appeared first on Business Insider.
