Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
How Low Can You Go?
Elon Musk, who’s so excited to support Donald Trump that he jumped up and down to show it, said on Saturday that he’d give $1 million per day to a randomly chosen registered Pennsylvania voter who signs an online petition.
On Tuesday’s “Daily Show,” Michael Kosta called Musk “a man of gravitas, a man of dignity, a man with roughly a four-inch vertical leap” and wondered, “How exactly does this bribe — sorry, gift — work?”
“Wow, Elon’s giving a million dollars to his fans. Now they can afford the best anime girlfriend pillow money can buy.” — MICHAEL KOSTA
“He’s so rich, he bought Twitter just to drive it into the ground for his own personal pleasure, and now he’s thinking, ‘Well, what if I did the same with America?’” — MICHAEL KOSTA
“I know what you’re thinking right now: How could Republicans sink so low? And also, can I sink low enough to register for this?’” — MICHAEL KOSTA
“During his first solo campaign event in support of former President Trump last week, Elon Musk urged the crowd to ‘pester’ their friends and family who are not yet registered to vote, adding, ‘I would if I had either of those.’” — SETH MEYERS
A Tale of Two Town Halls
On his Fox News show on Tuesday, Greg Gutfeld had harsh words for Kamala Harris, saying her Monday night town hall in Michigan “had all the spontaneity of synchronized swimming.”
“So right off the bat, we got the lay of the land — another manicured platform for Kamala to blurt out her now legendary word salads. I mean, this broad ought to come to every event with a side of ranch and a bag of croutons.” — GREG GUTFELD
On “The Tonight Show,” Jimmy Fallon noted that Trump had canceled a Tuesday event that would have been titled “Make America Healthy Again.”
“Tough to make America healthy again when you were just making them French fries a day ago,” Fallon joked, referring to the ex-president’s campaign appearance behind a McDonald’s counter.
“To make up for the cancellation, Trump had his doctor write a note that said America is in perfect shape and weighs 215 pounds.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Punchiest Punchlines (Two Weeks’ Notice Edition)
“We are exactly two weeks from Election Day and two weeks and one day from Donald Trump complaining about voter fraud.” — MICHAEL KOSTA
“After tonight, there’s only one Taco Tuesday left before Election Day. Please savor it, ’cause if Trump wins, I’m pretty sure Project 2025 outlaws tacos.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“That’s right, Election Day is almost here, and there are two possible outcomes: Trump wins, and Harris concedes, or Harris wins, and Trump claims that people in Ohio ate the votes. [imitates Trump] ‘They’re eating the votes. They’re eating the chads.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“According to a new poll, over 70 percent of Americans are stressed about the election. Americans are like, ‘You know what isn’t helping? Calling all day and asking if I’m stressed about the election. Yes! Stop polling me!’” — JIMMY FALLON
The Bits Worth Watching
Stephen Colbert tipped his hat to women voters on Tuesday’s “Late Show,” in a nod to Shania Twain.
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
The singer and actress Bernadette Peters will promote her upcoming Carnegie Hall performance on Wednesday’s “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”
Also, Check This Out
Nicole Scherzinger, formerly of the Pussycat Dolls, plays Norma Desmond in a new revival of “Sunset Boulevard” on Broadway.
The post Michael Kosta Thinks He’s Found Elon Musk’s Next Failed Purchase appeared first on New York Times.