Exactly two weeks from tomorrow, the 2024 presidential election will take place, the stakes of which could not be higher. How did Donald Trump spend one of his last weekends before November 5? Did he drill down on policy, finally explaining to voters how he plans to make childcare affordable? Did he apologize to the various minority groups he’s said should have their heads “examined” for supporting Kamala Harris? Did he cogently and convincingly lay out the case for why he deserves a second term in the White House? Not exactly!
Instead, he talked about the size a famous golfer’s penis, pretended to be a fast-food worker at a closed McDonald’s, and claimed every single goose in Springfield, Ohio, has has gone missing.
Yes, that’s correct: On Saturday, the Republican nominee for president of the United States told rallygoers in Latrobe, Pennsylvania, that golf legend Arnold Palmer had a huge schlong. “Arnold Palmer was all man, and I say that in all due respect to women—and I love women. But this guy, this guy…this is a guy that was all man. This man was strong and tough. And I refuse to say it, but when he took showers with the other pros, they came out of there, they said, ’Oh my God, that’s unbelievable.’”
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The following day, Trump pretended to be a fast-food worker at a McDonald’s that—to be clear—was closed to the public. There, while serving pretend customers, he baselessly claimed that Harris is lying when she says she worked at a McDonald’s during college, telling reporters: “Now I’ve worked for 15 minutes more than Kamala.” Asked why she would fabricate having held such a job, he responded: “Because she’s Lyin’ Kamala.” Note: In case it was not clear, Trump was born with several silver spoons in his mouth; in 2018, The New York Times reported that “By age 3, Mr. Trump was earning $200,000 a year in today’s dollars from his father’s empire” and was “a millionaire by age eight.” While being born wealthy does not preclude a person from caring about the working class, there is a laundry list of reasons supporting the notion that Trump does not actually give a crap about such people. In fact, while “working” at the McDonald’s on Sunday, he declined to give an actual answer re: increasing the minimum wage.
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Naturally, it wouldn’t be a weekend in Trumpworld without the former president spewing lies intended to demonize immigrants. Pressed during an interview with Fox News about the falsehoods he and JD Vance have relentlessly spread about Haitian immigrants in Springfield, Ohio, abducting and eating people’s pets, Trump told an incredulous Howard Kurtz that “all” the geese in town are “missing.”
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During the same show, he confirmed that he believes that Americans who don’t support him are the “enemies from within,” who he has said should be “handled” by the military on Election Day if necessary.
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And yet, somehow, the two candidates are currently neck and neck.
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The post Donald Trump’s Weekend Involved Talking About a Golfer’s Genitalia, Cosplaying as a Fast-Food Worker, and Claiming “All” the Geese in Springfield, OH, Are Missing appeared first on Vanity Fair.
