Have you ever been on a work retreat with people who you like casually, but don’t exactly want to get deep with? That’s the vibe on The Real Housewives of New York City Hamptons trip, which goes over about as well as last year’s milquetoast moment.
After a stronger start to Season 15, the RHONY growing pains are back in the spotlight now that the ladies have fled the city, its distractions and solo storylines dissipating in favor of more focus on the group dynamic. On a cast where the dynamic shines in chaos—like The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City—cast trips are a great place to let your inner demon out. Yet, over in New York City, the cast are still relative strangers to each other, and that’s hard to hide in the Hamptons.
Thank God for Ubah Hassan, the one New York Housewife willing to fight face-to-face while everyone else walks on eggshells.
A proxy war has emerged in the Hamptons. Brynn vs. Sai is heating up, sort of, but Sai has delegated the battle to her representative, Ubah. That’s a smart move in a strategic sense, given Sai wants to continue propagating the new, improved Sai who’s chill and calm, all the while sending Ubah out for the kill. The only problem is their strategy is a bit too overt, and thus useless. At least the ladies are fighting to make something happen, something the other half of the cast seem entirely unconcerned with.
It all starts with a rocky ride to Erin’s Hamptons home. Ubah and Sai drive up alone, having dismissed Racquel’s request to drive them despite her proclivity for car sickness. This is one of those “I don’t know you that well…” moments, as a group of real friends may have no problem directly saying “Girl, I don’t care. This is a 2024 Range Rover, and I don’t want you driving it,” but Racquel is new to the group and thus isn’t afforded direct conversation.
Still, it should be obvious to this fashion maven that it’s a bit awkward to drive someone else’s car a long distance. The last thing this show needs is a battle over car insurance if Racquel crashes Sai’s car.
Meanwhile, Jessel, Brynn, and Rebecca Minkoff arrive just moments after their Scientology convo, but they’ve left that elephant back in the city. Here, mum’s the word—except when Rebecca reveals that her parents offered her birth control as a teen in exchange for her promising to not do drugs. I guess we’ve finally found the skeleton in her closet!
Erin offers the group food—something she neglected to do last year, leading to a half-season of fights—and she also spills some tea. Ever the messenger, Erin tells Sai and Ubah that Racquel’s been talking about their choice to reject her driving offer.
“She said you guys wouldn’t let her sit in the front,” Erin says before an ominous music drop. It’s so mundane that it reverses into being hilarious.
While this argument squashes itself relatively fast, it’s the first straw that breaks Ubah’s back. She pulls Brynn aside to discuss the real issue within the group, Sai and Brynn’s premiere party blowout. The frenemies sit down for a quick chat and a surface apology, invoking Jenna’s name to sort out this game of semantics.
Jenna performs her non-confrontational song and dance, pretending not to remember saying that Brynn told her that Sai doesn’t like her, despite the fact it’s on camera. Instead, Jenna redirects the conversation to argue it doesn’t matter if Brynn said it, as she’s heard this from numerous people.
There’s an interesting quality to Jenna’s passivity. The cast all know she’s lying here, but they don’t really care as she exists on a different realm than the others. They don’t expect authenticity from Jenna. Will that boil into an A-plot eventually or continue marinating in the background? That remains to be seen.
The ladies simply brush it aside so Sai and Brynn can kiss and make up, knowing all too well their issues will resurface sooner than later. The peace lasts through dinner, where the group trades stories in an effort to get to know each other.
Here, we learn a bit about Racquel’s backstory, including how she and her fiancé Mel got engaged. We still haven’t learned what the “scandal” was when they got together (something teased in Episode 1), but Racquel does shine a spotlight on her wild engagement ring. It’s gaudy, gauche, and representative of something quirky beneath the surface. Racquel is a slow burn who’s come across perfectly normal thus far, but I have faith her Housewives layers will reveal themselves with time.
After dinner, Ubah breaks the peace to unleash her pent up frustration. Despite Brynn’s insistence that she and Sai are all fine and dandy, Ubah’s not buying it.
“You guys are all lying,” Ubah argues, catching Brynn’s ire.
It’s a battle between different arguing styles. Sai is all about sniping from the side, while maintaining a thinly veiled passivity in person. Brynn loves to kill with kindness, offering simple platitudes and a coquettish smile while gossiping behind your back. Ubah, on the other hand, is exhausted by the constant bandaids placed on the bullet hole.
Ubah may be the least image conscious RHONY, concerned more with getting to the bottom of squabbles rather than inauthentic makeups and breakups. It’s just as likely that Sai’s in her ear, too, talking a much different tune about Brynn off-camera vs. on, and Ubah’s simply the messenger of this distinction.
The next morning, Sai winds Ubah up and sends her into combat, while sitting back in her bedroom. Sai is tired of being used as a pawn, Ubah says, while being used as a pawn. Finally, Brynn cuts through the not-so-subtle proxy war to ask why Ubah is acting as her mouthpiece. Immediately, the fight escalates from its proxy basis into a full-on Brynn vs. Ubah moment, while Sai’s hands remain clean as can be.
No, the fight doesn’t resolve, nor does it seem it will anytime soon. But thanks to Ubah and Brynn finally taking direct shots instead of subtle digs, we’re finally heading into new RHONY’s first full-on combat.
“You’re a snake no one sees coming,” Ubah sneers at Brynn, leading the entire group to protest in disbelief. “That is true, and all of you think this, but you don’t want to say it!”
Reunion Ubah is back in full swing, this time channeling her skills much more effectively. If she can get Sai to engage in the fights rather than muttering her “pineapple” safe word, then we’ll really be in business.
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