Grab a golden goblet. The Netflix series “Love Is Blind” is back, with the first episode of its seventh season having been released on Wednesday, with the host Nick Lachey learning what a situationship is. The series that inspired drinking games (take a sip every time someone says the phrase “genuine connection”) — and is both a reality show and a social experiment — set up shop in Washington, D.C., this time to help 29 singles find love.
The premise, of course, is that the singles can’t see whom they are dating because of a glowing blue wall between them intended to eliminate all of the superficial things that might get in the way of love. Once a couple decides to get engaged, they see each other for the first time and attempt to make their relationship work, with all of the complications that phones, work and physical attraction bring.
Over the past few seasons, the nagging question concerning the show’s participants was: Are they here for love or for clout? (The recent season, “Love Is Blind: U.K.,” was hailed by many as a return to the show’s original vibe, for its generally emotionally healthy and low-drama cast.)
CC Rice, a voice teacher, associate professor and energy reader who posts body language breakdowns of the show under the social media handle @guidedinspiration, says that figuring out a participant’s motivation is both an art and a science.
“‘Love is Blind’ is this incredible opportunity to see people in private,” she said. “I’m listening for all of the cues: What do they bring up? Where do they look while they’re speaking? Are they avoidant? Are they trying to connect?”
Only the people involved — and, perhaps, the show’s producers — know the true motivations, but Ms. Rice has some key clues to look out for, based on past seasons’ participants.
This interview was edited and condensed for clarity.
Look for the Gaze
Rice: One of the most important things is the gaze. What are the eyes doing?
In a positive romantic interaction, you want to look for mirroring, and that’s going to happen with the gaze and the voice: physical mirroring and eye contact. Mirroring will happen with the body, where both people will posture to one another. They will nod their heads together. They will make eye contact at the same moments. They will repeat a phrase, or they will laugh at the same time. They will make the same movement when they laugh.
Now eye contact is not always a good thing, if somebody is just glommed on and their eyes never move from the other person’s eyes, or if one person’s gaze is doing something different. That’s where I’m looking for red flags.
Consider Self-Conscious Grooming
Rice: Self-conscious grooming is not a bad thing. All it means is that, in that moment, one becomes aware of themselves in the situation. Women tend to be more apt to self-consciously groom because we are more apt toward grooming, period. And so we have a particular way in which we want to appear. And even if we’re not in front of a mirror, when we become conscious of the self in the situation, we start to fix things, even if we don’t know that they’re out of place.
People will start grooming with their fingertips. They’ll start moving their hair. Men will do a lot of beard stroking. At the moment that it happens, the eyes will avert or avoid the gaze.
Even if I’m not getting actual feedback that I look out of place, I feel out of place. And so my instinct is to solve and to fix and to groom. “Oh, I’m having this uncomfortable situation right now. How’s my hair? Let me just make myself presentable.”
Note Protective Posture
Rice: Protective posture is essentially guarding one’s body, especially in the vital organs. There’s a C-shaped spine, or what we call navel-gazing, where a person curls their body in, and their avoidant gaze goes into themselves. They are no longer able to look up and out at you.
Instead, they pull their gaze into themselves, and often the arms will cross over the heart so that there is no energy. The heart emits more energy from the body than any other place. Our natural instinct is to protect our sex organs, our vital organs, our breasts.
We talk about pheromones and smells — we all still pick up on that stuff unconsciously. When somebody closes off their armpits, crosses their legs, pulls their feet closer to themselves and hides the top of their head with a hat, what they are doing is, they are covering all of the spaces that emit their smell and emits sweat. We are unconsciously protecting the parts of us that are sending pheromone signals to the other person in that room about how we are feeling and our level of comfort.
Watch for Manipulation
Rice: Manipulation often comes in the form of playwriting [a concept she later credited to the improviser Steven Fisher]. They are trying to implant that information into your consciousness, particularly to implant it as truth so that you cannot overwrite it with your own experience. It comes often with a lot of talking over someone — putting your language in their mouth or inhibiting them from responding in their overall rhythm.
It is a tactic of dominance, and it is a way to establish continued dominance throughout the relationship. It is exactly that thing you want the other person to say: “Tell me how great I look in this. Don’t I look really good, doesn’t your wife look great? Right?” Giving somebody the language to use for you inhibits their ability to come up with language on their own. Now that it’s been implanted, they have a really difficult time thinking their own thought.
Instead, ask a real question, an open-ended question where the answer is not included in the question.
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