Patti LuPone Answers the Proust Questionnaire

What is your idea of perfect happiness? A calm and peaceful mind, landing a joke, being the name right after “And the winner is…”

What is your greatest fear? Falling onstage…or anywhere.

Which living person do you most admire? Rachel Maddow.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? My Sicilian impulsiveness.

What is the trait you most deplore in others? The trait that ignites my Sicilian impulsiveness.

What is your favorite journey? Southeast Asia—the Irrawaddy River on a refitted Rhine cruiser.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue? Blind allegiance to a demigod.

On what occasion do you lie? Backstage after a show.

What do you dislike most about your appearance? My nose, which John Simon described as my lupine visage—a clever play on my last name. Of all the theater critics, he was the most vitriolic.

Which living person do you most despise? Really? It’s not obvious?

Which words or phrases do you most overuse? “Doll” and “Do you know what I mean?”

What is your greatest regret? Not buying that apartment in that brand-new building opposite Lincoln Center in the mid-’80s for that inside price.

What or who is the greatest love of your life? My husband and my son and the life we’ve been blessed with.

When and where were you happiest? Filming Penny Dreadful for five months in the Republic of Ireland, sublime land of faeries and spontaneous song.

Which talent would you most like to have? I would love to be an instinctual chef. I wish I could open the kitchen cabinets and create a masterpiece.

How would you like to die? Not as a victim of another mass shooting in America.

What is your current state of mind? Extremely troubled with no end in sight.

What is your most treasured possession? Mementos from Broadway opening nights. The Evita death mask made into a hand mirror, and a real eggshell with a lighted scene from Anything Goes inside.

What do you consider your greatest achievement? My son, Joshua Johnston.

Where would you like to live? On the Mediterranean Sea, with a view of the setting sun.

What is your favorite occupation? My current and only one, the one that chose me at four years old and that I’m still lucky enough to continue to do.

What is your most marked characteristic? See above, re: Sicilian.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Oh, too late for that.

What do you most value in your friends? Laughter first and foremost, acceptance, and love.

Who are your favorite writers? Orhan Pamuk, Hilary Mantel, Thomas Hardy, Edith Wharton.

Who is your favorite hero of fiction? Neely O’Hara from Valley of the Dolls.

Who are your heroes in real life? Firefighters and first responders.

What is it that you most dislike? Unearned standing ovations.

What is your motto? “If I don’t see you after the show, you were fabulous!”