This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Jackie Baxa, a relocation coach based in Spain. The following has been edited for length and clarity.
My husband and I moved with our two sons to Seville, Spain, in 2016. We wanted to ensure that our kids had exposure to life and culture outside the US, which was as much of a parenting priority for us as teaching them to swim or instilling a love of reading.
But when our initial plan to live abroad for a year turned into seven, our son, Gavin, had to make a decision: return to the US for college or stay in Europe.
At that time, we hadn’t written off the US. But the more we compared the European college experience to that of the US, the more we were drawn to Europe.
European colleges can be more degree-focused
In Europe, there’s often less of a notion of college as a time to find oneself; it’s about preparing for one’s career.
Gavin had spent his childhood in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, a rural mountain community. He loved his skis, but the prospect of having freedom in a city, a car-free lifestyle, and — let’s be perfectly honest — a continent where the drinking age is 18 and not 21 was very exciting.
He also felt like no matter where he went in the US, everyone would likely have a similar story. Going to college in Europe, however, would allow him to meet people of different backgrounds.
After taking a gap year in 2021, Gavin decided to pursue a degree in Culinary Entrepreneurship at Technological University Dublin in Ireland. His program is very hands-on, and it suits his learning style well.
Our younger son Kaden, 17, would likely do fine in the US system if he wanted to. However, he’s drawn to stay in Europe as well.
In some ways, he feels very proudly American and connected to American culture. But he’s also integrated into life in Seville. He doesn’t hang out in a big pool of expatriate kids, and almost all his friends are Spanish.
He also wants to use his university years to pick up another language and is eyeing programs in Milan and Amsterdam when he applies next year.
Cost also weighed heavily in these comparisons
The tuition for a non-European Union student is $14,700 a year at the Technological University of Dublin, and that is fixed for four years. Housing in Dublin isn’t cheap, but we’ve been fortunate not to have any issues finding student accommodation, which runs around another $10,900 a year.
As a Wyoming resident, Gavin would have paid $5,190 for tuition at the University of Wyoming, excluding other costs. We never seriously looked at it as it did not interest him. However, he considered the University of New Hampshire, where tuition costs $36,170 yearly for out-of-state students, excluding housing and other fees.
We could have afforded the US education, but that doesn’t mean he won’t benefit tremendously from choosing Europe instead.
If he wants to go to graduate school, that money will still be there for him. If he wants to start a business, he’ll have seed money that maybe would’ve gotten used up if we had spent it all on a US-based education.
There are things my sons might miss out on by not going to school in the US
Gavin sees his friend’s Instagram posts about the big college football games, the tailgate parties, the frat parties, and the house parties. It’s not lost on him that he’s not having any of them.
At the same time, we’ve talked about all the things he’s doing that his friends would have no clue about. One is his independence, especially living in an urban environment for college. He’s also probably been to 12 or 14 countries.
Might he have that wistful sentiment one day? Maybe. But I would like to hope that he’s not going to feel like it was this huge loss and that he’ll just see it as he couldn’t be in two places at one time.
It is nice that Gavin can get on a three-hour flight and come home to see us. That would not be the case if we were living in the US. We’ve told him he’s welcome to come home when he wants, and we’re happy to see him.
Do you have a story about choosing to attend college outside the US that you want to share? Get in touch with the reporter, Erin: [email protected].
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