A mom-to-be said she never wanted a gender reveal party — but then a family member reportedly forced it on her, leading to dramatic and still-ongoing family fallout.
“I’m pregnant with a baby boy due in November,” wrote a woman over the weekend on social media in a posting that has elicited some 9,000 reactions and over 1,200 comments to date.
“My fiancé and I didn’t care much about the sex of our child, so we didn’t make too much noise about it once we found out,” said the woman, sharing her story on the Reddit page known as AITA (“Am I the a–hole”).
“The only people we’d informed were our parents, their partners and our siblings,” wrote “ThrowawayGenReveal” in her post.
However, she said, “prior to this, my father’s girlfriend of three years had been asking me about my plans for a gender reveal party. I’ve always been clear about not wanting one,” the woman added.
But “when I announced my son’s gender to them, she expressed disappointment that I hadn’t changed my mind about a party,” she said.
Added the woman, “I don’t like gender reveals. Never have, never will. I prefer baby showers, which I think feel more about the actual child. I never tried to hide that opinion, either.”
The mom-to-be said she “stood there in shock.”
Days later, the woman went on, “my father’s girlfriend invited me over for tea at their apartment (my dad was out of town). When I got there, about a dozen people popped out of hiding to surprise me. There were pink and blue decorations everywhere, which made what was going on pretty clear.”
The mom-to-be said she “stood there in shock.”
Then “my father’s girlfriend excitedly told me they were throwing me a surprise gender reveal party.”
The dad’s girlfriend apparently “had taken it upon herself to order a cake with colorful frosting, decorate the apartment and invite a bunch of people over,” wrote the woman.
She went on about the surprise gender party, “The guests included her mother (whom I don’t get along with), some of her friends, my MIL (not my mom) and four of my friends. As I later found out, my MIL and friends had been told I’d changed my mind about gender reveals.”
But, the woman asserted, “I had not.”
“My father called me, furious that I’d ruined the party.”
She added that as she stood in the doorway, “I looked over at everyone and said, ‘It’s a boy. You guys can go home now.’”
Said someone else, “You made yourself very clear in how you felt about gender reveal parties. Your dad’s girlfriend completely and deliberately disregarded that and disrespected you.”
This particular commenter added, “So sorry the party she planned for herself was ruined. Maybe she should have gone a step further and not even invited you, since this party was all about what she wanted.”
And yet another person — summing up the feelings of many others — wrote, “You set a boundary and removed yourself the second you saw it was smashed.”
This person also noted, “If you went in, it would have been used as ‘see it wasn’t that bad’ or ‘why are you complaining you went to the party’ in the future whenever you tried to use that as an example of a crossed boundary.”
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