Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
One Week Out
The first presidential debate is one week away, and former President Donald Trump is said to have a game plan that includes not interrupting President Biden, as he has in the past.
“And, as we all know, he has an uncanny ability to stick to his game plan,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Thursday. “His discipline is unmatched!”
“Biden has secluded himself at Camp David, where he’s preparing for this bout like Rocky Balboa getting ready for ‘Golf Clubber’ Lang. And Trump is hard at work right now, deciding whether to go with the scented Aqua Net or unscented.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“You know, despite skipping every other debate, Trump reportedly cannot wait to attack Joe Biden. It’s the most he’s ever hated someone he wasn’t married to.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Next Thursday is the first 2024 presidential debate between President Biden and former President Trump, which means we’re just one week away from finding out who falls asleep onstage.” — SETH MEYERS
“Forget the debate — I say we put them both in a hammock and the first one to stand up is our next president.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Punchiest Punchlines (Ten Commandments Edition)
“Louisiana yesterday became the first state to require public schools to display the Ten Commandments in every classroom. Apparently, they’ve been having a lot of trouble with kids coveting their neighbor’s oxen.” — SETH MEYERS
“Maybe they should also post the Constitution in the Louisiana governor’s office so he can give it a read every once in a while.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Oh, come on, everybody knows if you want to make something accessible to kids, you don’t put it in a big font; you put it in a Hello Kitty Trapper Keeper.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“I hate to break it to you, but Louisiana ranks 38th in reading — I don’t think the font is going to help.” — DESI LYDIC
“I will say, in fairness, the point in posting the Ten Commandments in schools is to remind third-graders not to commit adultery.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
Chappell Roan performed her hit song “Good Luck, Babe!” on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”
Also, Check This Out
Donald Sutherland’s consistent and reliable work transcended genres and eras in Hollywood. The veteran actor died on Thursday at 88.
The post Jimmy Kimmel Counts Down the Days to the First Debate appeared first on New York Times.
