A pregnant woman’s upset at her mother-in-law has been backed online, after the grandma-to-be booked a vacation for her son just a week after the birth.
In a post on popular Subreddit “Am I the A**hole,” the woman shared her hurt, gaining over 18,000 votes. She explained that she is 37 weeks pregnant and her boyfriend had taken three weeks off work for the birth of the baby in order to help out.
“My boyfriend’s mother took it upon herself to schedule a ‘paternity vacation’ for my boyfriend for the last two weeks of his leave. She came over for dinner and surprised him with it. It’s an all-expense paid vacation to Italy for my boyfriend as his paternity present,” she wrote.
In the U.S., paternity leave is not so common, with the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare reporting in 2020 that only 12.65 percent of eligible fathers took advantage of paid leave. Despite this, research by Pew Research Center showed that 71 percent of young Americans feel it’s important for new babies to have equal bonding time with their mothers and fathers.
“However, I told her that this leave was for helping the baby. She was taken aback and said he would be with me for a week and that was long enough. Her husband never stayed in the hospital with her when her son was born.”
After being told the mom-to-be didn’t want her partner away over this period, the grandmother was left “in tears.”
“My boyfriend pretty much agrees that he should go for at least a week because she paid for it but I really wanted him to stay with me and bond with our daughter,” wrote the pregnant girlfriend.
Reddit users unanimously sided with the mom-to-be and shared shock at the premise of a “paternity vacation.”
“What a presumptuous gift, and the fact that your boyfriend didn’t immediately turn it down is unsettling. Guilt about something he never asked for should never come before his responsibility to you as a partner and to your newborn as a father. Your response was reasonable and not at all ungrateful. I hope your boyfriend can grow a pair and put his foot down with his mom,” wrote one user.
Another agreed, writing: “You’re going to be a first time mother and he will be a first time father to a newborn baby, and your MIL wants to whisk him away on a holiday when you and your baby will need him the most? Totally odd and completely inappropriate. He needs to grow some balls, stand up to his mother, and step up to be a good father.”
Others were left targeting their frustrations at the boyfriend too, for his failure to reject the idea completely. “If he chooses to go anyway, I would tell everyone we both knew that he abandoned me with a newborn to go on vacation by himself,” advised one user. “Any sane person would hear that and judge the hell out of him. I couldn’t respect someone who did that. And if he got upset about it, oh well. He would look bad because it IS bad.”
The woman updated users with her latest thoughts on the matter, explaining that her partner has not been back since mentioning the week-long trip, but that she doubts he will change his mind.
“He is quite stubborn about a lot of things. Not very reasonable at all. He can be at times but he has several moments of being quite difficult,” she noted.
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