Martha Stewart is packing plenty of innuendos about the “male appendage” into her new Discovery+ show, “Martha Gets Down and Dirty.”
The hilarious episode “Fire Up the Wieners” revolves around Stewart leading a juicy hot dog and sausage grilling session with the help of her all-male staff — before devolving into a raunchy conversation best saved for after dinner.
“So, how many of you call weiners, weiners?” the domestic diva and entrepreneurial icon teasingly asks her grilling buddies: culinary director Thomas Joseph, creative director Kevin Sharkey and gardener Ryan McCallister.
The arbiter of homemaker taste and unabashed thirst trap queen then asks — point-blank — how the testosterone trio refers to their own “male appendage.”
James Beard Award-winning chef Joseph blushes crimson and attempts to stutter out an answer before McCallister fails to save the day with a limp “d–k” admission.
Unimpressed with their small responses, Stewart keeps riding the trio of men for a better answer while dining al fresco at her sprawling Bedford, New York estate.
“That’s called a squirter … You deserve a six-foot-long weiner.”
“That’s all you can come up with is d–k and penis?” an incredulous Stewart says, adding that she’s not a fan of the term “schlong.” (She reveals to her bro squad that the term was a favorite of her ex-husband: “I don’t like that word.”)
After a little prodding and squirming in their seats, the fellas bashfully admit they do drop the C-word on occasion — with Sharkey declaring, “I think c–k is the best.”
“OK, so d–k and c–k,” Stewart responds, clarifying that “these are not c–ks” while surveying her lavish grilled meat spread. At this point the camera flashes to a closeup photo of a colorful fowl species on Big M’s estate. The caption reads: “This is a cock. At least one kind of cock …”
Stewart goes on to reveal that she’s a fan of her pal Snoop Dogg’s kind of weiner — one smothered with Velveeta cheese, honey mustard, sauerkraut and potato chips on top.
Specifically noting the “big weiner inside,” Stewart then locks eyes with the camera, saying, “Hey Snoop, this dog’s for you.”
Another instance of size mattering occurs when Sharkey is awarded a six-foot-long hot dog on a platter for putting together the most appetizing plate during the barbecue.
“Kevin, is that the biggest weiner you’ve ever seen?” Stewart coyly asks him.
After her “disaster” bestie Sharkey admits the “obscene” specimen is indeed his biggest ever, Stewart scores guffaws by squinting her eyes and snarkily telling her long-time senior VP and creative director: “You deserve a six-foot-long weiner.”
While tending to some meat on the grill, a deadpan Stewart also blurts out, “that’s called a squirter!,” when one dog’s juice shoots through its casing, eliciting a giggle fit from chef Joseph.
The legendary powerhouse also shares a bit of feminine advice with her male audience.
“Men, stop touching your weiners on the grill constantly — you don’t have to touch them all the time,” she says, sparking yet more snickers.
While her enthusiasm toward weiner puns is hilarious, Stewart recently suffered an injury that is no laughing matter.
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The media maven revealed that she is recovering from surgery for a ruptured Achilles tendon after a “surprise” step into a dark hole while exiting her car a while back.
She also caught controversial attention for selling $67,000 worth of stock in Sequential Brands Group in early, June just before a report surfaced around its possible bankruptcy.
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