Radio City’s Christmas show features live animals with Rockettes. Neither group is heavily dressed. Monday 10:45 a.m. Cardinal Dolan — inhaling a muffin on a buffet provided by the theater — came to bless the four-legged ones.
Alongside sheep and behind His Eminence’s black beret stood camels Jezebel, who’s in a Geico commercial, plus Ted, who’s done this same shtick annually. Bored, Ted began chewing on the beret’s pompom. Timothy Cardinal Dolan to the camel: “Watch the hat.” Near a friendly donkey stood Pickles, His Eminence’s dachshund/Jack Russell rescue, whose red wool coat says “Most Valuable Pup.” “Pickles loves pumpkin pie. It’s his favorite.” Classified secret information (known only to Ukrainians) is that “we give him little tastes of it.”
As I was carrying Pickles, the cardinal’s chef Antoine said: “Pickles is house-trained. Sometimes, of course, it might happen that he might — maybe — go … on Madison Avenue … but, mostly, he’s very well behaved.” I put Pickles down right away.
The cardinal’s coat was long. The Rockette costumes, not. Their false eyelashes extend longer than their sequins.
One dancer: “I’m from Wisconsin.” Dolan: “I was in Wisconsin for seven years.” To one from Utah: “I recently visited the Mormons. Great place. But you can’t get a beer there.”
Despite cop cars, fotogs, cameras, theater personnel, His Eminence — discovering a father and son from Virginia seeing St. Pat’s on a first visit — brought them along. The dad kept saying, “Oh my God, oh my God.”
New York’s Prince of the Church handed me a bottle marked “holy water,” then said: “The theater’s done this forever. The only one around longer than this theater is Cindy Adams.”
I gave him back his holy water.
Meghan bro crossed a big line
Prince Harry might tear out what’s left of his hair now that Meghan’s cranky brother, Tom, filmed a TV commercial mocking his sister and the Court of St. James. HRH may even challenge the bro to a duel. Like p.r. photos at 90 paces.
The brother says that Harry is the wife’s No. 1 apologist. Also, he says, “Everyone quits who works for her.” He still bitches that he and their kin didn’t get invited to the wedding.
He should forget it. Just wait for the lawyers.
‘Tis the season
The Liberty Club is a networking organization. The Manhattan GOP chair is Andrea Catsimatidis. The big-time political strategist is Steve Bannon. The setting is the Empire Steak House. And Bannon said: “Nancy Pelosi forces America into a constitutional crisis over the Christmas season by impeaching President Trump. Voters will hold her accountable.”
Fit this one in
Forget Dad’s tie and Mom’s handbag. A Christmas gift for daughters is about “friendship, acceptance, trust.” It’s “The Popularity Pact: Camp Clique.” The book is by New Yorker Eileen Moskowitz-Palma, who lives with a husband, daughter, a fox terrier, and teaches children the art of writing.
Raising kids today isn’t easy. Aside from BFFs, M&M’s and being bummed by ex-best friends, this delicious novel — for ages 8 to 12 — teaches how to fit in. Out April 14, it’s available for preorder online.
A 2020 prediction: NY Rep. Jerrold Nadler gets formally designated by the House of Representatives as America’s Gross National Product.
Maybe muttered only in New York, kids, only in New York.
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