If you’re looking for an edge-of-your-seat TV drama to watch besides “The Pitt,” might I recommend “The Rink.”
Because this week’s Winter Olympics men’s figure skating competition provided more explosive shocks than any other show out there right now.
Go watch for yourself. Well, do that after you’ve read all the way to the bottom. It’s must-see insanity.
Craziest of all was when American hotshot Ilia Malinin finished in eighth place after Friday’s free skate — a “Game of Thrones” “Red Wedding” on ice.
Malinin’s epic flame-out might’ve been even messier than the Stark massacre.
NBC commentators Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski were dumbfounded by the disastrous performance from the 21 year old, who was on top after a near-perfect short program just two days earlier.
“Oh my goodness” was all Lipinski could say when Malinin fell after his final jump. During those fraught four minutes, he landed very few.
Adding to the season-finale-level stakes was Virginia-born Malinin’s nickname — one he curiously gave himself, requested a trademark for and stamps on his merch.
He’s the “Quad God,” referring to extraordinarily difficult quadruple jumps with four revolutions that he’s usually quite good at.
Still, it’s a ballsy move to dub himself a god, especially as the first time many viewers were meeting him, god came in eighth.
With Ilia out of the picture, the totally unexpected gold medalist was Mikhail Shaidorov of Kazakhstan, who was in fifth before Friday night. His country had never won a men’s figure skating gold before.
But perhaps the 21 year old foresaw the upset victory during his short program Wednesday when he dressed as Paul Atreides from “Dune” — planet Arrakis’ dreamed-of savior played by Timothée Chalamet — and skated to its music by Hans Zimmer.
Shaidorov gave us some sci-fi, and his very own “Dune: Prophecy.”
In the middle of his exceptional free skate on Friday, Lipinski said, “He’s just planting seeds right now for the next Olympics.”
Not so fast.
Half an hour later Malinin was despondent and viewers were chanting “Lisan al-Gaib!”
Completely unserious and delightful was the sit-com-style hilarity from Tomas Llorenc-Guarino Sabate of Spain.
Surrounded by sober skates, he dressed like a Minion from “Despicable Me” — in a yellow shirt and overalls, not a giant Times Square mascot costume — and did a funny routine to a song filled with Minion gibberish.
It was ridiculous fun, and has become an internet hit. Nobody could have cared less where he placed.
Beyond the adrenaline of wins and losses, and occasional yuks, there were also powerful tears.
They came courtesy of America’s Maxim Naumov, the 24-year-old from Connecticut, who skated in honor of his parents, former world champs Evgenia Shishkova and Vadim Naumov.
They died last January in the tragic plane crash over the Potomac River that killed 67 people, many of whom were young skaters, their parents and coaches.
“All I wanted to do in that moment was lay in my bed or lay on my couch and just rot,” he told The Times of that life-changing event.
Yet only 13 months later, the 24-year-old was in Italy at the Olympics for the very first time, clutching a photo of himself as a child with his mom and dad during the emotional Kiss & Cry and smiling.
Positive and modest Naumov came in 14th during a lovely short program that was not as technically advanced as some, and was 20th by the end of the competition Friday.
Watching at home, his achievement felt a lot bigger than that.
“What we’ve dreamed of since the very beginning, I was able to make that a reality. And I didn’t just do that for myself — I did that for them as well,” he said on camera after leaving the rink.
The Olympics are about the world’s greatest athletes coming together to do superhuman feats.
And that’s exactly what Naumov did.
Now go watch.
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