Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
The Calm Before the Storm
The U.S. House and Senate voted on Tuesday to make the Justice Department release the Epstein files.
On Wednesday, Jimmy Kimmel eagerly anticipated their release, saying that he was “carefully following the path of Hurricane Epstein right now.”
“It is a Category 5. It’s expected to make landfall sometime very soon.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“We are now one step closer to answering the question, ‘What did the president know, and how old were these women when he knew it?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Yesterday, both the House and Senate voted to release the long-withheld files related to a man who considered himself to be Trump’s closest friend for more than a decade, the late sex criminal Jeffrey Epstein. The vote in Congress went 427-1. It was such a landslide, Trump might actually be able to rebury the Epstein files under it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Trump hasn’t been this nervous about signing something since Don Junior’s birth certificate.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Even if Trump keeps his promise and signs the bill, we don’t know whether the Department of Justice will actually release all the files or if they’ll be tied up in investigations, specifically investigations Trump orders to keep them tied up in investigations. And that is where things will get interesting. Will we get the — will we have the original documents, or is Trump going to pull a Taylor Swift and give us ‘The Epstein Files: Donnie’s Version’ of the document?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“That’s how they’re going to keep these files secret — ‘national security,’ America’s go-to justification. It stops us from bringing shampoo on a plane, it puts tariffs on bananas and soon it can prevent you from seeing if the president is a pedophile. By the time Pam Bondi is done with these files, they’ll be more censored than the airplane version of ‘Anora.’” — RONNNY CHIENG
The Punchiest Punchlines (Nancy Mace Edition)
“That is so sad. I don’t agree with Mace’s politics, but South Carolinians gotta stick together. Nancy, next time I throw a party, I would like to invite your dog. No one should have to spend that much time alone with Nancy Mace.” — STEPHEN COLBERT, referring to Nancy Mace’s distancing herself from the Epstein network in an on-camera interview where she claimed to have no friends but her dog
“Are you fishing for an invite to the sex party? Like, why did you make not being a part of a pedophile ring sound so sad?” — RONNY CHIENG
“There’s a middle ground between Epstein Island and friendless loser. Like, walk the middle path.” — RONNY CHIENG
“I mean, she doesn’t go to parties. She doesn’t have friends. She does have a dog, but after a day with her even the dog’s like, ‘Where’s Kristi Noem when you need her?’” — RONNY CHIENG
The Bits Worth Watching
Mary Steenburgen told Seth Meyers on Wednesday’s “Late Night” about the expansive vocabulary of her husband and “A Man on the Inside” co-star, Ted Danson.
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
Senator Elizabeth Warren will sit down with Stephen Colbert on Thursday’s “Late Show.”
Also, Check This Out
At 71, Greg Ginn has enlisted three new bandmates in their 20s to join the latest iteration of his iconic punk band, Black Flag.
The post Jimmy Kimmel Prepares for Hurricane Epstein appeared first on New York Times.
