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‘Scammy Faye Baker’
President Trump attended and spoke at the National Prayer Breakfast on Capitol Hill Thursday morning, where he poked fun at Speaker of the House Mike Johnson for saying grace before eating lunch.
On “Late Night,” Seth Meyers said that the annual breakfast “is supposed to be a normal, nonpartisan event, but, of course, Donald Trump is incapable of being normal.”
“I mean, he’s also incapable of being nonpartisan, incapable of praying, and I bet he’s bad at breakfast, too.” — SETH MEYERS
“Since Trump retook office, for a lot of us, every breakfast is a prayer breakfast, but this was the official one.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“It was the MAGA Teresa’s sixth appearance at the event and he gave quite a performance. This headline sums it up pretty well: ‘Trump Gives Remarks at National Prayer Breakfast, Calls GOP Member a Moron’ — just as Jesus would do.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Scammy Faye Baker delivered a beautiful sermon. He rambled for 75 minutes about this and that, which is amazing because this is a room full of alleged Christians, which Trump — he doesn’t know anything about that, he doesn’t go to church, he doesn’t read the Bible. The only thing he prays for is money.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“The National Prayer Breakfast was held this morning in Washington and attendees included President Trump and singer Jelly Roll. Just wish I could’ve been there when Trump found out it was the singer Jelly Roll: ‘[imitating Trump] Well, this breakfast sucks.’” — SETH MEYERS
“During his remarks this morning at the National Prayer Breakfast, President Trump said that he has done a lot for religion and added, ‘Religion is back, now hotter than ever before.’ Well, he definitely has a lot more people saying ‘Jesus Christ.’” — SETH MEYERS
“During his remarks this morning at the National Prayer Breakfast, President Trump said that the soldiers in Washington, D.C. ‘beat the crap out of’ criminals.’ Man, if that’s the way he talks at the prayer breakfast, I can’t imagine what he said at the National Violence Breakfast.” — SETH MEYERS
“President Trump also said this morning that he bombed ISIS fighters on Christmas Day. It’s the worst birthday present Jesus has gotten since the frankincense.” — SETH MEYERS
The Punchiest Punchlines (Discombobulated Edition)
“The Discombobulator? That sounds like the worst ride at Six Flags: ‘Don’t go over there, dude, somebody puked on the Discombobulator.’” — MICHAEL KOSTA, on President Trump’s new secret weapon
“Personally, I don’t think our most advanced new weapons should have whimsical names. If I’m shot by a laser that liquefies my organs until they leak out of my eyes, I don’t want them to tell my family that I was “dinky-zoinked” to death.” — MICHAEL KOSTA
“Sir? Is there any chance the Discombobulator is on now? Because I would not describe your recent behavior as, uh, combobulated.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“This dude cannot keep a secret. This is how you know there’s no aliens, because day one, Trump would have been, like, ‘I’m not supposed to say anything, but they have three boobs!” — MICHAEL KOSTA
“And it is a great name, Mr. President. It does not sound like a weapon in ‘Paw Patrol’ at all.” — MICHAEL KOSTA
The Bits Worth Watching
The rap duo De La Soul performed “Different World,” their tribute to their late bandmate David “Trugoy the Dove” Jolicoeur, on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”
Also, Check This Out
Puerto Rican football players are thrilled that Spanish will resound at the Super Bowl with Bad Bunny headlining the Halftime Show.
The post Late Night Finds Trump Out of Place at Prayer Breakfast appeared first on New York Times.
