Growing up, I knew two things: I wanted to be a mother and to live abroad one day.
Both came true when I met my Danish husband while traveling solo almost a decade ago. Not long after, I moved from New York City to Copenhagen, which was ranked first in the Happy City Index for 2025.
We had our Danish-American son, Aksel, just over three years ago, and today we live in central Copenhagen. I now experience Danish society more fully through the reality of raising him here.
Having Aksel made me understand why Denmark earns its praise. Here, parents are encouraged to trust children’s independence and rely on community support. In the US, parenting is more often shaped by caution and a stronger emphasis on individual responsibility.
My son goes on adventures at day care
This may be my favorite example of that trust: one afternoon, when Aksel was about a year old, I picked him up from vuggestue (day care) and learned his class had gone on a field trip earlier that day. I didn’t sign a permission slip, nor did I receive an email.
Since then, I’ve been surprised by updates to Denmark’s parent-teacher app, Aula. I’ll receive photos of Aksel riding the Metro or exploring Rosenborg Castle during school hours, all without my prior knowledge.
Growing up in the Connecticut suburbs, that would have been unthinkable. I remember even a trip to the town center (just a five-minute walk from my high school) required signed permission slips and repeated reminders to parents.
This is because a stronger suing culture in the US often means safety concerns extend beyond protection to liability. Denmark operates on a different premise, with little fear of lawsuits by parents and a general trust in educators and parents to exercise judgment.
Public life in Denmark is child-centric
That child-first mentality extends into public life. When Aksel was an infant, I used to refer to Copenhagen’s mall as the “milk stop” because there were always proper family rooms for feeding and changing (including in men’s bathrooms!). Restaurants often include play areas, and even formal dining establishments have offered Aksel a highchair.
In contrast, when traveling with Aksel in the US, I always feel as if I’m somehow disrupting adult systems. For example, I remember meticulously planning subway routes in Manhattan because so few stations are stroller-friendly.
In Denmark, public spaces actively accommodate families, reducing stress by meeting children’s needs without explanation. Accessibility features like ramps built into staircases are standard, and the idea of “play” is prioritized. Copenhagen is even designed so that anyone can walk to a beach or park in 15 minutes.
That same thinking shows up in everyday transportation. Like many parents here, I take Aksel to daycare on a cargo bike (the Danish equivalent of the “soccer mom van”) because Denmark invests in supporting it.
Childcare is affordable and accessible
When I signed Aksel up for public day care, I was surprised by how straightforward and accessible the process was, thanks to a centralized system supported by government subsidies that make quality childcare affordable.
There is far less stay-at-home parenting in Denmark because childcare is treated as a public good, something families are expected to need rather than justify. In fact, Denmark leads the European Union in the share of children attending formal childcare each week.
And in this family-first society, even parents in corporate roles usually pick up their kids by 4 p.m. on weekdays, a sharp contrast to the late work hours typical in the US. Here, work simply isn’t given the same priority as family, which, as a “workaholic American,” I’m learning to adjust to.
Children are trusted to take risks
My mom group describes Danish playgrounds as coming “with a side of danger.” This is because risky play is more valued in Denmark than in the US. In day care, kids routinely use tools, work with fire, and learn by doing, because the belief is that resilience is built through experience, not by avoiding discomfort.
At first, this approach was uncomfortable for me because I was used to the American “helicopter mom” mentality. Over time, I realized what seemed like a lack of parental control in Denmark was actually just an expression of trust in educators, institutions, and, of course, children themselves.
Parenting here feels collective
A friend once told me that parenting in the US often feels like defensive driving: constantly anticipating risks and advocating for your child.
That’s a marked contrast to Denmark, where I don’t feel compelled to stay on alert all the time. Whether Aksel’s on an unannounced school field trip or learning to bike at a staffed playground (while I watch from a distance), trusting his safety is the norm, not the exception.
Denmark isn’t perfect, and parenting as an expat has its unique challenges. Still, raising my son in this trust-based, child-centered society has given us what every parent seeks: a genuine sense of community and support.
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