Let’s admit it: we all enjoy when the person we’re dating yearns for our company. We see it constantly in romance movies and novels, where the love interest pines for months, if not years.
This type of behavior, once seen as “cringe” or “try-hard,” has now earned a positive reputation. That begs the question: Is “yearning” the new dating trend? According to Emily Conway, the CEO and Creative Director of Dragon Toys, it just might be.
“Dating apps feel draining, emotional burnout is baked into daily life, and instant access has flattened desire into something functional rather than thrilling,” says Conway. “Against all of that, longing feels intoxicating.”
Everyone is Burnt Out on Dating Apps and Lackluster Dates
Most singles are over today’s impersonal dating world. They’re craving something real, not just a pen pal on their phone screen.
“I see dating burnout daily,” says Conway. “A lot of people come to me feeling exhausted by dating; they are meeting plenty of people, but very few connections feel memorable.”
Yearning, however, proves loyalty and commitment even before a relationship has been established. The yearner isn’t expecting anything of you—they’ll long for you and wish you well, no matter the circumstances.
“The shift from physical to emotional feels protective as well as romantic,” Conway notes. “Yearning gives people a sense of control. You can build closeness emotionally without feeling pushed into physical milestones before you’re ready.”
“When people let themselves yearn, they are admitting that the relationship, the connection, truly matters,” Conway continues. “That can feel risky, but it also brings meaning back into dating.”
Not to mention, dating a yearner often feels like the more secure option.
“Yearning is rooted in emotional safety and imagination,” says Conway. “When people feel overwhelmed or overstimulated, longing gives desire room to breathe. It creates space for curiosity, fantasy, and emotional connection without pressure.”
Why The ‘Yearning’ Man Is Suddenly Attractive
When we talk about yearning, we might subconsciously think about the male yearners. Traditionally, men have been known to “court” women they’re interested in. That has since changed.
Dating expectations and standards have shifted over the years, and that’s neither positive nor negative. Different people have different preferences. A woman might feel more confident taking charge and pursuing their love interest, while a man might be shyer and more reserved in the dating scene.
However, it seems more women are seeking a “yearning” man. (Personally, I think it has something to do with Conrad Fisher from The Summer I Turned Pretty, but I digress.) These types of men are typically more romantic and sentimental, which certainly gives them a leg up on their otherwise uninspired competitors.
“The idea of the emotionally unavailable, repressed bad boy has lost its shine,” Conway says. “People are drawn to partners who are present, expressive, and willing to care deeply.”
When dating a yearner, you tend to develop a more natural and authentic connection, as opposed to a rushed or forced one.
“Pacing intimacy this way allows attraction to deepen naturally, which often leads to stronger bonds and more satisfying relationships,” Conway says. During periods of burnout, yearning can feel grounding because it invites people to engage with emotion thoughtfully rather than reactively.”
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