Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
‘The Substance’ Sequel No One Asked For
One of President Trump’s favorite political targets, Representative Ilhan Omar, was sprayed with liquid during a Minneapolis town hall on Tuesday.
Late night hosts remarked on Ms. Omar’s quick reflexes on Wednesday, as video of the attack showed her going after her attacker with her arm cocked. Stephen Colbert called her “admirably tough under pressure” and said that she looked “ready to throw some hands.”
“Explains her campaign slogan: ‘Ilhan Omar will fight for you and with you after school in the Panera parking lot.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“The attacker has been identified as a 55-year-old man named Anthony J. Kazmierczak. As of this taping, we didn’t know what his motivations were. It might have been Donald Trump, it might have been Captain Morgan.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Witnesses say that Kazmierczak sprayed Omar with a strong-smelling liquid from this syringe. Some on the internet speculated it was urine. If so, Anthony, you got to hydrate immediately.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“I’m happy to say, turns out, the substance was apple cider vinegar. That’s right, vinegar. That’s more dangerous than you think. If she had baking soda in her pocket, he could have turned her into a volcano.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Are you trying to pickle her? ‘I’ll show you — your skin’s going to glow and you’ll never get a cold.’ ” — DESI LYDIC, imitating Kazmierczak.
“If that happened to me, I would be terrified, but Omar was like, ‘This is dry clean only!’” — DESI LYDIC
The Punchiest Punchlines (‘A Very Good Job’ Edition)
“President Trump told reporters yesterday that Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem will not step down and added, ‘I think she’s doing a very good job.’ In fairness, he thinks her job is villain on ‘Yellowstone.’” — SETH MEYERS
“[imitating Trump] ‘Nope, she’s doing excellent. There’s no one else I’d rather have everyone blame for my mindless cruelty. She’s perfect. First off, she’s a woman, and nobody likes that.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“For her part, Noem is trying to blame other people for immediately labeling a murder victim a domestic terrorist. Yesterday, she reportedly said, ‘Everything I’ve done I’ve done at the direction of the president and Stephen Miller.’ Oh, so you were just following orders. This was all just a nothing burger. Oh, I’m sorry, I read that wrong. I misread that — it’s a ‘Nuremberger.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“So you have Trump, Noem and Miller all pointing fingers at each other. It’s like a Mexican standoff for people who hate Mexicans.” — DESI LYDIC
“So Kristi Noem, who runs Customs and Border Protection, heard it from Stephen Miller, who says he heard it from Customs and Border Protection, run by Kristi Noem. This is a real snake eating its own tail, which I believe is how Stephen Miller reproduces.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Bits Worth Watching
The “Going Dutch” star Denis Leary told Seth Meyers why he identifies as a “nepo parent” on Wednesday’s “Late Night.”
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
Kermit the Frog will return to “Jimmy Kimmel Live” on Thursday ahead of the new “Muppet Show” special coming to Disney+ next week.
Also, Check This Out
Lauryn Hill will lead a tribute to Roberta Flack and D’Angelo at this Sunday’s Grammy Awards.
The post Late Night Praises Ilhan Omar’s Quick Reflexes appeared first on New York Times.
