By the end of the first month of the year, many once-wide-eyed, well-intentioned individuals find themselves inevitably burned out by the countless resolutions they set a few weeks prior. And oftentimes, this includes dating.
Couples who got together around cuffing season or around the holidays often find themselves at a crossroads by the end of January. Do they deepen their commitment to one another, or do they part ways?
“January has this ‘fresh start’ energy,” says Gemma Nice, Sex and Relationship Coach for Condoms.uk. “People want to feel hopeful and open, especially if the previous year didn’t go the way they planned. But that can sometimes mean presenting a more polished version of yourself at the beginning.”
As the days progress, cracks start to show, and reality sets in…oftentimes leading to what Nice called the “January dating hangover.”
What Is a Late-January Dating Hangover?
The late-January dating hangover typically occurs toward the end of January, after holiday cuffing season relationships or early-year connections start to fizzle out. Most relationships start lighthearted and exciting, but when the honeymoon phase ends, it can be a tough adjustment.
“In those first few weeks, people are usually enjoying the spark,” Nice explains. “As things settle, more meaningful questions start to come up … That’s when you start noticing whether someone feels open and consistent, or whether there are areas that feel harder to move past.”
How ‘Early Editing’ Affects Intimacy
Those early days of a relationship can be blinding. People tend to put their best foot forward, “editing” certain memories or past experiences when sharing them with their new partner. However, these little white lies or altered stories can create a sense of distrust, ultimately affecting emotional and physical intimacy.
“If certain things come out once you already feel invested, it can shake your sense of trust,” says Gemma. “Often it’s not about what’s shared, but about when it’s shared.”
This is a common reason why relationships fall victim to the late-January dating slump. During the beginning of cuffing season or early in the new year, people like to appear polished to attract potential suitors. But the truth always comes out.
How to Navigate the Late-January Dating Hangover
If you notice your relationship is struggling toward the end of January, it’s time to have an honest conversation—both with yourself and with your partner.
“This is when people check in with themselves,” says Nice. “Do I feel comfortable here? Do I feel able to be myself? Does this feel like something that can grow?”
If the answer is no, you might want to reconsider your connection.
Of course, this doesn’t mean you immediately cut things off or even force serious conversations. Rather, you listen to your intuition and voice concerns as they arise.
“Approach conversations with curiosity rather than pressure,” Nice explains. “You don’t have to share everything at once, but you should feel able to talk about things that matter.”
For example, as mentioned earlier, some couples face uncomfortable truths as their relationship progresses. Perhaps someone conveniently left out important details about past sexual encounters in earlier conversations, or maybe someone even lied to appear a certain way. In these instances, it can be difficult to continue a relationship without confronting the broken trust.
“Talking about protection and boundaries is part of feeling safe. If those conversations feel possible, that’s a good sign,” says Nice. “If something feels off, it’s worth listening to that feeling. Taking things at a pace that feels right for you is how trust and intimacy actually build.”
The post Why So Many New Relationships Don’t Make It Past January appeared first on VICE.
