The concept of “guilty pleasures” can be considered in two ways. On the one hand, it is a way to absolve us of having to analyze why we like a piece of art that is typically considered “bad.” Labeling something a guilty pleasure takes away the onus of defending bad art by saying, “I know this thing is bad and I’m ashamed of liking it, so you can’t really judge me.”
But on the other hand, guilty pleasures inherently create a hierarchy of media. This then allows ranking systems to develop, first of the media itself and then of the people who enjoy it. Before long, we’re judging someone for having Warrior Cats on the same shelf as Sylvia Plath. The media we consume becomes an indicator of morality and identity, rather than just the types of movies we like to watch. Before you know it, you’ve got religious-level guilt about liking Riverdale unironically. Shame is a slippery slope, my friends.
Now that we’re all rethinking how we consider media, let me climb off my soapbox for a moment and share what my guilty pleasure songs would be if I believed in that sort of thing.
“DONTTRUSTME” by 3OH!3
If we’re the same age, I don’t think I have to explain this one. But I feel like if I played this for my 22-year-old sister, she’d bully me so hard I’d have to go into Witness Protection. There’s nothing really wrong with 3OH!3 per se (from behind the nostalgic rose tint, anyway). But this song does come from that trashy 2000s pop era we all know and love. And, unfortunately, in most cases, experienced.
An industry already blinded by Lady Gaga, teetering on the edge of Kesha’s debut. And there, Sorry For Party Rocking lurking just out of sight like the Ghost of Cringe Yet To Come. So, as guilty pleasures go, “DONTTRUSTME” is a pretty good candidate. Except it does get disqualified by the absolutely raw line “Tell your boyfriend, if he says he’s got beef / That I’m a vegetarian and I ain’t f***ing scared of him.”
“It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere” by Alan Jackson and Jimmy Buffett
I need you to listen very closely to me right now: we don’t tolerate James Buffett or Alan Jackson slander in this house. That said, everyone else within their often-overlapping genres is fair game. Again, no guilty pleasures. But I wouldn’t be ashamed of liking “It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere” even if I did believe in that.
This song might be embarrassing for someone else, but I’m built different. Because there’s no room for guilt or shame or media hierarchies when you’re living on Island Time. How can anyone feel anything but pure, unbridled joy when hearing “Pour me somethin’ tall and strong / Make it a Hurricane before I go insane.”
“Free Bird” by Lynyrd Skynyrd
“Free Bird” is probably the only song in my entire library that gets anywhere close to a genuine guilty pleasure. I’ve been known to waste five minutes sitting in the grocery store parking lot because the “Free Bird” solo came on as I parked. Who am I to cut it off right at the best part? Once you hit four minutes and 43 seconds, you’re obligated to see it through to the end. That’s the law, I’m pretty sure.
But it’s still “Free Bird”, and my personal tastes aren’t typically aligned with unironic Lynyrd Skynyrd enjoyment. Actually, I don’t think I know a single other Lynyrd Skynyrd song, and I’m okay with that. Because while I do have to preface “Free Bird” with “Guys, hold on, just listen, you’ll get it, I promise,” if it comes on when I have friends over, there’s still nothing that gives me goosebumps quite like that guitar solo. All in all, I’ve made peace with that.
Photo by R. Diamond/WireImage
The post I Refuse to Have Guilty Pleasures, but These Are 3 Songs I Feel Like I Need to Explain When Sharing With Others appeared first on VICE.
