Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
The Art of the New Old Deal
President Trump announced on Wednesday that a framework agreement was reached over the future of Greenland after he met with the secretary general of NATO, Mark Rutte. The deal effectively granted the same military base permissions to the United States as before — or “total access to all the things we already had total access to,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Thursday.
“Trump is not actually a deal-maker, he just plays one on TV,” Seth Meyers said on “Late Night.”
“At this point, it’s pretty clear world leaders make deals with Trump the way kids do on the playground: ‘[imitating Trump] I want to make sure this is a long-term deal.’ ‘[imitating a world leader] Would infinity suit you? We could — we could also stipulate no take-backs. And while we rarely do this, we are prepared to pinkie-swear.’” — SETH MEYERS
“According to a new report, the deal that President Trump negotiated yesterday with NATO involves Denmark giving the U.S. sovereignty over small pockets of Greenland to build military bases. So, basically, the deal we already had. I’m so glad this guy isn’t my real estate broker: ‘Hey, so I think I can get you the house for the asking price.’” — SETH MEYERS
“So I think I know what happened here — Trump thought people wanted to know more about Epstein Island, so he tried to distract them with a bigger island. ‘[imitating Trump] You were thinking too small. Go for the big ones, America. Take your pick. You could have Greenland, Fiji, Madagascar. A lot of bad stuff happening on Madagascar.’” — SETH MEYERS
“You hear that, everybody? The problem that we never had until he created it is finally solved!” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Just like the wall Mexico was going to pay for and the caravans that were coming, and they’re eating the dogs and cats. I’m telling you, after next week, we will never hear about Greenland again. What a bluffoon!” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (Board of Peace Edition)
“Today in Switzerland, President Trump officially launched his new group to solve international conflicts called the Board of Peace. Yep. Of course, Trump wasted no time giving himself the inaugural Board of Peace Prize. He was like, ‘[imitating Trump] I can’t believe it. I can’t wait to win again next week.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“During a signing ceremony today for his Gaza Board of Peace, President Trump said, ‘We have peace in the Middle East, and no one thought that was possible.’ Yeah. Or even actually happening.’” — SETH MEYERS
“What an honor to be named chairman of your own board. Almost no Western democracies signed up to be part of this, but the very sketchy leaders of Saudi Arabia, Qatar and Hungary did immediately, and he invited Putin to be on the Board of Peace in his downtime, when he isn’t bombing Ukraine. What a group this is. They might as well call it the ‘Legion of Doom.’”— JIMMY KIMMEL
“Trump also invited the pope to join the Board of Peace. That’s right. The Vatican said the pope received the offer, but it is ‘something that requires a bit of time for consideration before giving a response,’ which is a polite way of saying they’re waiting for the pope to stop laughing. I mean, the white smoke coming out of the Vatican was the pope ripping a bong hit after getting this letter from Trump. I mean, seriously — there is a better chance the pope joins Tinder this year than the Board of Peace.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
The Emmy Award-winning documentarian Alexandria Stapleton discussed making her Netflix film “Sean Combs: The Reckoning” with Josh Johnson on Thursday’s “Daily Show.”
Also, Check This Out
Girl Scouts singing folk songs, a flag-waving party and a Times Square ball drop are among the growing roster of events celebrating America’s 250th birthday on July 4.
The post Seth Meyers Says Trump’s Deals Are as Strong as a Pinkie Swear appeared first on New York Times.
