Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
‘The Omarosa of the World’
On Tuesday, late night hosts recapped President Trump’s long holiday weekend spent texting world leaders and sharing screenshots of their conversations on Truth Social.
“You really almost have to hand it to him,” Jimmy Kimmel said. “He can do so much damage in one three-day weekend — I don’t know if anybody has ever done more.”
“Every country hates us now, it’s official. All of them hate us. We are the Omarosa of the world.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“There are so many embarrassing and deeply sad and insecure things about that text, I really could spend the whole night dissecting it, but how about him admitting this in writing? Our president sent a text to the leader of another country, which, by the way, is already a weird thing — the idea that he’s typing out a [expletive] little message to the prime minister of Norway, a message that explicitly says ‘Since you didn’t give me the peace prize, I’m thinking about taking Greenland away’ — it’s unheard of. There’s nothing to compare it to in the history of humankind. This is — I mean, it’s like we armed a Real Housewife with nuclear weapons.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“There are a lot of reasons to think Trump is out of his mind, all right? The first one here is: Who starts a text message with, ‘dear’? Because you know this dude is also sending completely blank voice memos, too.” — JOSH JOHNSON
“Last night, Trump posted a private text message from French President Emmanuel Macron that said, ‘I do not understand what you are doing on Greenland.’ Then Trump threatened Macron, saying that he’ll put a 50 percent tariff on all Emilys living in Paris.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Punchiest Punchlines (Ruining Reality Edition)
“He didn’t get the Nobel Peace Prize, so now he’s going to ruin peace, same way he didn’t get an Emmy for his reality show, so he ruined reality.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“This man is crashing the plane because the stewardess didn’t bring him a bag of peanuts, OK? This is what happens to children who get anything they want. This is how they grow up. President Veruca Salt: ‘I want Greenland! I want it now!’ All because he didn’t get a little medal around his neck. He’s a child.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“You can tell Trump doesn’t deserve the Peace Prize, because no Nobel Peace Prize winner thinks this way. Let’s say M.L.K. didn’t win it. He wouldn’t have been, like, ‘[imitating M.L.K. Jr.] Oh, so that’s how it’s going to be? All right, I’m coming for that [expletive], whitey!’” — JOSH JOHNSON
“It’s crazy to have someone admit that they were only being peaceful because they thought they were going to get a trophy. This is some incel [expletive], all right? Trump is basically, like, ‘I never would’ve bought the Nobel committee dinner if I knew they weren’t going to give it to me. Peace isn’t even hot, anyway.’” — JOSH JOHNSON
“The Norwegian government — they don’t have anything to do with awarding the peace prize. This is an organization within their country. This would be like if Trump bombed Mexico because Taco Bell didn’t put enough cheese on his Crunchwrap Supreme.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
Jimmy Fallon crashed The Lemonheads’s performance of “My Drug Buddy” on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
Claire Foy, who stars in “H Is for Hawk,” will appear on Wednesday’s “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”
Also, Check This Out
From awards shows to the club, “Heated Rivalry” has gone from a TV hit to an IRL social sensation.
The post Late Night Cringes Over Trump’s Texting Spree appeared first on New York Times.
