Valentine’s Day has a way of bringing out the best and the worst of us. With such a strong reminder of and emphasis on romantic love, the holiday can press on emotional wounds many of us have when it comes to love. Singles might feel lonely or left out, while those in relationships might feel disappointed by their partner’s lack of effort.
On the other hand, Valentine’s Day can remind us of the power and purity of various types of love—not just romantic—as well as our interconnectedness as humans.
Interested in exploring the idea of love as both an emotion and an act of service? Here are five non-fiction books about love to read this Valentine’s Day.
1. Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton
Many of us believe that romantic love trumps all other forms of love, but Dolly Alderton’s memoir challenges this perspective. Everything I Know About Love takes readers on one woman’s journey through grief, heartbreak, chaotic dating experiences, deep friendship, and, finally, newfound self-love. Each anecdote reminds us that we’re not alone in our struggles to find, keep, and feel worthy of love—perhaps we’re just searching for it in the wrong places.
Synopsis: “When it comes to the trials and triumphs of becoming an adult, journalist and former Sunday Timescolumnist Dolly Alderton has seen and tried it all. In her memoir, she vividly recounts falling in love, finding a job, getting drunk, getting dumped, realizing that Ivan from the corner shop might just be the only reliable man in her life, and that absolutely no one can ever compare to her best girlfriends. Everything I Know About Loveis about bad dates, good friends, and—above all else—realizing that you are enough.”
2. All About Love: New Visions by bell hooks
All About Love holds similar sentiments to Everything I Know About Love, though it’s presented as more of a social critique and philosophical, spiritual self-help guide than a vulnerable memoir. Bell Hooks explores how our childhood experiences and cultural/societal forces impact our ability to give and receive love in its purest form. This book will make you rethink everything you believed you knew about love.
Synopsis: “All About Loveoffers radical new ways to think about love by showing its interconnectedness in our private and public lives. In eleven concise chapters, hooks explains how our everyday notions of what it means to give and receive love often fail us, and how these ideals are established in early childhood. She offers a rethinking of self-love (without narcissism) that will bring peace and compassion to our personal and professional lives, and asserts the place of love to end struggles between individuals, in communities, and among societies. Moving from the cultural to the intimate, hooks notes the ties between love and loss and challenges the prevailing notion that romantic love is the most important love of all.”
3. 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go by Jay Shetty
When it comes to love, I don’t believe in following some strict rulebook. I’ve found that the most authentic love is flawed, yet rooted in respect and care.
However, Jay Shetty’s 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go offers a guide for when loving someone—or setting them free—feels too heavy to manage with grace. This book has helped me become a more selfless partner, grounded in my own self-love.
Synopsis: “Nobody sits us down and teaches us how to love. So we’re often thrown into relationships with nothing but romance movies and pop culture to help us muddle through. Until now.
“Instead of presenting love as an ethereal concept or a collection of cliches, Jay Shetty lays out specific, actionable steps to help you develop the skills to practice and nurture love better than ever before. He shares insights on how to win or lose together, how to define love, and why you don’t break in a break-up. Inspired by Vedic wisdom and modern science, he tackles the entire relationship cycle, from first dates to moving in together to breaking up and starting over. And he shows us how to avoid falling for false promises and unfulfilling partners.
“By living Jay Shetty’s eight rules, we can all love ourselves, our partner, and the world better than we ever thought possible.”
4. How to Love Better: The Path to Deeper Connection Through Growth, Kindness, and Compassion by Yung Pueblo
Yung Pueblo, the well-known and beloved poet, presents a more spiritual approach to love in his book How to Love Better: The Path to Deeper Connection Through Growth, Kindness, and Compassion. This self-growth/relationship guidebook encourages readers to develop higher self-awareness and more self-love, both of which are the foundation of healthy relationships.
Synopsis: “Love enters our lives in many forms: friends, family, intimate partners. But all of these relationships are deeply influenced by the love we have for ourselves. If we see our relationships as opportunities to be fully present in our healing and growth, then, Yung Pueblo assures us, we can transform and meet one another with compassion instead of judgment.
“In How to Love Better, Yung Pueblo examines all aspects of relationships, from the rose-colored early days when you may be hesitant to show your full self, to the challenges that can arise without clear communication, to dealing with heartbreak and healing as you close a chapter of your life. The power of looking inward remains at the core of Yung Pueblo’s teachings. Ego and attachment can become barriers in a relationship, so the more self-aware you become, the more you can support both your partner and yourself.”
5. Conversations on Love by Natasha Lunn
Natasha Lunn merges her own personal experiences in love with others’ stories and reflections on the topic, reminding us of our interconnectedness as humans. Part memoir, part interview anthology, this book offers various perspectives, guiding you to create your own narratives on love.
Synopsis: “A celebration of love in all its forms, featuring conversations with: Philippa Perry on falling in love slowly * Candice Carty-Williams on friendship * Alain de Botton on the psychology of being alone * Dolly Alderton on vulnerability * Emily Nagoski on the science of sex * Diana Evans on parenthood * Lisa Taddeo on the loneliness of loss * Esther Perel on unrealistic expectations * Stephen Grosz on accepting change * Roxane Gay on redefining romance * and many more”
The post 5 Non-Fiction Books About Love to Read Before Valentine’s Day appeared first on VICE.
