In the coastal Sicilian city of Gela, archaeologists have found an ancient writing tool that was probably used by an ancient thinker as he scribbled notes that would feed into our larger understanding of life.
It also had a penis etched onto it. A tiny, fully erect penis, with balls and everything.
Hell yeah.
The Superintendency for Cultural and Environmental Heritage of Caltanissetta reports that the object is a fifth-century BCE ceramist’s stylus made of bone. It’s about five inches long and decorated with the face of a bearded man wearing what appears to be a large conical hat. Just a little bit below his face, at roughly penis height, is a clear as day image of a penis — balls, shaft, bulbous head. All the hallmarks of a solid penis.

According to officials from Sicily’s cultural heritage department, the head (the one with the face, not the penis head) likely represents Dionysus, the Greco-Roman god of wine, ecstasy, and partying and vibing out.
Experts believe the stylus may have served as a religious offering rather than a purely functional object. Daniela Vullo, Superintendent of Cultural Heritage in Caltanissetta, described it as “truly unique,” noting that its craftsmanship and iconography set it apart from other tools of the period.
Another thing that sets it apart is that it’s essentially an early version of those pens where, if you turn it one way, the woman’s top is on, and when you turn it another way, her top comes off.
It’s funny to us today, but in ancient Greek culture, nudity and fertility symbolism were common, especially in representations of gods like Dionysus. What feels giggle-inducing now likely felt devotional back then. It could even be viewed as practical, a way to combine work and worship, as if someone today were writing with a pen shaped like a crucifix. Just, you know, with an erect penis on it.
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