Every cold and flu season, like clockwork, we, in the lingering vestiges of print media, find ourselves here again. And once again, we have to remind the confused denizens of the internet that no, there is absolutely no chance in hell that you will ever cure a cold by putting sliced raw potato in your socks when you sleep.
There is no universe across the multiverse in which that will ever be true, and yet people genuinely believe it can happen in this one. TikTokers‘ parents perhaps shouldn’t have had kids, and the hopelessly stupid are slicing spuds, tucking them into socks, and waiting for toxins to be magically vacuumed out of their bodies overnight. Then they wake up, see a gray, oxidized potato, and congratulate themselves for beating virology with a sturdy russet or perhaps a creamy Yukon gold.
Experts, meanwhile, have thrown their arms in the air in exasperation, having run out of ways to tell people that you cannot cure a virus with a fucking tuber. While speaking with The Washington Post, you can practically hear the frustration dripping from every word spoken by Joanna Parga-Belinkie of The American Academy of Pediatrics as she reminds people that a virus being “drawn” through your blood, through your skin, into a potato is not medicine, it’s horseshit. It’s not a cure, it’s fucking madness.
People often assume that because in the morning, the potato turned dark, that must mean the illness is now trapped in the potato, which can be safely discarded. That is some absolutely absurd magical thinking that should no longer exist in the year 2025 as we verge on 2026. The potato turns dark because iron and starch come into prolonged contact with oxygen, not because they’ve been sacrificed by taking on your illness.
Some people say they feel better afterward, but that’s the placebo effect at work. Often, cold symptoms peak around day three or four and naturally begin easing by day five. Congratulations to the potatoes for being in the room during a regularly scheduled recovery.
No, you will not be harmed by putting a potato in your sock. As far as hokey magical nonsense home remedies go, it’s safe. The bigger risk here is that people put their faith in vegetable talismans rather than a set of actual medical care from people who have dedicated their lives to understanding the way the human body actually works.
The post No, a Potato in Your Sock Will Not Cure Your Cold, You Lunatics appeared first on VICE.
