Before graduating from Syracuse University last spring with a degree in journalism, it seemed like everyone (including me) was scrambling to make plans, get jobs, and figure out where to move.
I always expected life after college would fall seamlessly into place, that all of my involvement in campus media, internships, and good grades would pay off immediately.
So, when I learned that my childhood friend was planning to move to New York City, it was the perfect opportunity to take the leap together. I’d always dreamed of moving there, and as the home of many big-name publications, it seemed like the right city to be in to kick-start my career.
Come June, I’d moved, gotten a job at a coffee shop, and continued applying to every dream job under the sun (just like the hundreds of other LinkedIn applicants).
Little did I know, the barista position I’d only planned to have for a month or two would still be my lifeline seven months later.
Finding a full-time job in my field has been much harder than I anticipated
At the beginning of my job search, I was incredibly motivated, but slowly, the rejections began to roll in.
I started feeling like maybe I was the problem, that my experiences and skills weren’t good enough. How was I supposed to gain more experience if no one would hire me?
Imposter syndrome hit me hard, especially since it seemed like the first question anyone wanted to ask me was, “What do you do?”
At first, I’d provide a whole spiel: I just graduated and am working as a barista while I look for a job in journalism, and interviews are going well. I always felt the need to make it appear as though I was on the brink of getting “the job.”
The catalyst for shifting my mindset came later, over dinner with a friend at our favorite Indian restaurant. We talked about life, relationships, New York work culture, and overall, what it means to unplug from the outside world for a second.
My friend shared his thoughts on being part of corporate America and said he doesn’t base his worth on the job he has or his level of success. His words made me think about my own self-worth and why I’d been placing it all on my career and how qualified I am compared to others.
Now, when I’m faced with the “what do you do” question, I say I’m a barista and freelancer looking for full-time work in journalism.
I’m less concerned with explaining why I’m not working in corporate yet and more concerned with maintaining my peace and joy, as well as exploring my other interests.
Although people’s responses to my answers haven’t changed much, my confidence in where I’m at and where I’m going has.
I’m starting to think of this time as a blessing in disguise
Although this isn’t the life I envisioned having after graduation, I’m grateful for the time I’ve had to explore my hobbies and be an active member of my community.
As an avid yogi and certified yoga teacher, I’ve enjoyed taking free yoga classes in Bryant Park. It’s been a great way to get moving, plus it’s given me a reason to stop with the endless job applications and catch up with some friends.
In my free time after barista shifts, I even parlayed my love of yoga into a three-month stint as a front desk receptionist at a studio in SoHo. In exchange for three hours of dedication a week, I got to take unlimited classes from some of the best yoga teachers I’ve ever had.
Aside from yoga, I also signed up with my roommate to volunteer within my Muslim community and teach religious education classes to kids.
Growing up, I loved attending these classes; it connected me to my culture and was also how my roommate and I met as kids. So, participating in this has felt like a full-circle moment that I likely wouldn’t have had if I were already working full-time.
However, despite finding a great community, I’ve found my feelings of imposter syndrome are still present — fueled by the overwhelming chaos and fast-paced energy of the city.
Now, I have a clearer picture of what I want
Over the last few months, I’ve learned NYC isn’t the best place for me — at least not right now.
I always come home feeling like I haven’t done enough, and it exhausts me. This is partially a result of my mindset, but I also think it’s a direct consequence of living in a place known for its hustle.
Although living here has been a great experience and played a huge role in helping me gain confidence, I’m ready for somewhere that’s slower-paced.
There are, of course, still days when I struggle with my own self-talk and understanding my purpose, but I’m confident a move is the best next step for me as I continue working toward my goals and exploring all of the other things that make me who I am.
My time in the industry will come, and until then, I’ll keep side-questing and doing everything I can to remain happy and present.
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