Welcome to Late Night Roundup, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
‘Worst President in the History of Two Countries’
Over the weekend, President Trump posted a screenshot from Wikipedia to Truth Social, declaring himself acting president of Venezuela.
“Doesn’t your oath of office to America have a noncompete?” Jon Stewart said on Monday. “What are we doing?”
“What, are you just trying to pick up a few extra hours? What, the holidays hit you hard? ‘I just need a couple extra bucks until like February, March. That ballroom’s not going to pay for itself.’” — JON STEWART
“President Trump posted a screenshot of his Wikipedia profile on Truth Social over the weekend that shows him listed as the ‘Acting President of Venezuela.’ Wow. Not many people can say they were the worst president in the history of two countries.” — SETH MEYERS
“In addition, Trump declared himself Miss Iowa 1966, J.D. Power and Associates’ best midsize sedan in initial customer satisfaction, and the world’s largest ball of twine.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Can I ask a question? Are we broke? Is that why we have to do all this? Did you lose your job? Did you somehow Trump Casino the United States? Because if the country needs money, we can all get second jobs. We’ll all be president somewhere, if Wikipedia will have us.” — JON STEWART
The Punchiest Punchlines (Room With a View Edition)
“Speaking of, President Trump just hosted oil executives at the White House to talk about Venezuela, but the CEO of Exxon told Trump that the Venezuelan market is uninvestible. Yeah, they’re like, ‘Sir, we’d rather invest in a beach house in North Korea.’ They were, like, ‘Sir, we’d rather invest in Labubu dolls, now.’ They were, like, ‘Sir, we’d rather invest in straight hockey shows.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“Turns out Venezuelan oil is thick, dirty and of low quality. And, of course, Trump’s like, “Well then, we’ll just call it Trump Oil and say it’s the best. It’s the best oil in the world. People will buy it, right?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“He was like a war widow still waiting for her husband to come home. That’s how I look when it’s been an hour since my DoorDash order.” — SETH MEYERS, on Trump pausing a recent meeting to walk over to a window and look outside
“Really? This meeting is the moment for your funny ballroom act-’em-out? Armed gangs are roaming freely through both of the countries you say you run right now, but go ahead, take a moment to look at what might be through the window. You’re like the Walt Disney of chaos — all it takes is imagination.” — JON STEWART
“Sir? We’re trying to have an urgent meeting on possibly the collapse of a petro-state.” — JON STEWART
“Welcome to another edition of ‘What If Joe Biden Did That?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“OK, he 100 percent had to fart.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Bits Worth Watching
The “Heated Rivalry” star Connor Storrie talked to Seth Meyers on Monday about training for two weeks to play a hockey star.
What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night
The “Star Trek: Starfleet Academy” star Tig Notaro will appear on Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”
Also, Check This Out
Ricky Gervais won best stand-up comedy in absentia at the Golden Globes on Sunday, and he also wound up being the butt of a Wanda Sykes joke.
The post Jon Stewart Skewers Trump as ‘Acting President of Venezuela’ appeared first on New York Times.
