Maryellen MacDonald is professor emerit of psychology and language sciences at the University of Wisconsin-Madison and author of “More Than Words: How Talking Sharpens the Mind and Shapes Our World.”
Picking up the phone isn’t as easy as it sounds — at least if you ask Gen Z. Today’s young adults struggle to make an appointment, ask a question or dispute a bill. If they manage to leave a message and get a call back, they might refuse to answer.
Gen Z’s interaction anxiety has expanded beyond “telephobia.” Despite craving closeness, they’re now reluctant to engage in face-to-face conversations. Opting for texting might seem like a convenient alternative, but this avoidance is costing the generation in more ways than they realize. What will it take to get Gen Z talking?
The social consequences of talking aversion are obvious: Businesses are starting to worry that young employees won’t be able to engage effectively with co-workers and customers. Young adults are lonelier. Dating is declining, and friend groups are shrinking.
But the problem isn’t just a matter of social awkwardness. Talking is important brain exercise, a desirable difficulty that enhances our cognition — in the moment of talking, and over our lifetimes. Young adults frequently listen to other people’s speech via podcasts, YouTube, TikTok and the like, but these activities don’t provide the same cognitive stimulation. The mental effort required to speak is much greater than what’s needed to understand someone else, and the cognitive benefits of talking exceed those of listening.
Those benefits are extensive: Talking about goals boosts mental focus and follow-through. Athletes are routinely coached to talk to themselves to improve perseverance, focus and mood. Talking about a topic speeds up learning and makes it more durable. And it continues to tune our brains all the way to old age, when high rates of socializing guard against dementia.
Young adults who avoid conversation are missing out on all of that. We don’t yet know the long-term consequences of losing talk-based cognitive, emotional and social enhancement, but the link between silence and dementia is worrisome.
What caused this talking avoidance? The pandemic is one likely culprit, as it removed opportunities for young people to practice socializing while they transitioned to adulthood. Remote work further reduces talking practice and degrades social skills. Helicopter parenting also clears away many challenges of childhood, leading to lower coping and social skills. For over-snowplowed adults still living at home, the parent concierge remains ready to take on phone calls and other talking challenges. It’s a vicious cycle: Reluctant talkers gravitate to non-talking activities like looking at their phones and moving through life with earbuds, which discourages anyone from striking up a conversation.
This might sound like just older generations grousing about messed-up kids these days. But similar concerns about less frequent talking are directed at the elderly, who watch lots of TV but talk little. Researchers have even launched interventions to get older adults talking more, with significant benefits for cognition and mood.
Reluctant Gen Z talkers don’t need home-visit interventions, but they would benefit from other experiences that allow them to talk more. This doesn’t require tossing them into the talking deep end. Instead, we can provide guidance and practice that increase skill and reduce anxiety.
Speech, acting and improv classes can help. One program at the University of Wisconsin-Madison coaches students in discussion, treating talking as a teachable skill. “Adulting 101” classes in schools and community centers also teach life skills, which sometimes include addressing anxiety about talking on the phone. College career centers offer training for job interviews, but they could expand guidance for other job-related talking, such as networking. Face-to-face conversation is especially challenging, with additional demands like eye contact and turn taking. Programs that boost conversation skills are rare but should be more widely available. It’s possible that gamifying conversation practice could help motivate reluctant talkers.
Beyond skill-building, there needs to be more space for talking. Young adults expect that conversations will be more awkward than they turn out to be; practice can help them recalibrate. Mentorship programs in business and community centers supply one opportunity. Events like trivia nights and board game parties provide conversation topics and a structure for interaction. Many schools are banning smartphones to improve learning, which creates room for students to talk to each other between classes and during lunch. Young adults who have given up their smartphones or set them aside for many hours report more sleep, better friendships and more face-to-face talking.
Like talking, the work of changing culture to promote social interaction is a desirable difficulty. It will be worth the effort.
Post Opinions wants to know: Have you found strategies to get people, including you, off their phones and into conversations? Share your response in the comments or at wapo.st/talking, and we might publish it as a letter to the editor.
The post Gen Zers aren’t talking — and it could cost them appeared first on Washington Post.
