Before she stopped drinking alcohol eight years ago, Cecily Mak drank daily to “soften the edges of life.” She couldn’t socialize without a “boozy assist.”
Mak, the author of “Undimmed,” an upcoming book about rethinking alcohol use, told me that many of her thoughts could be taken up by the logistics of drinking: Should I drink tonight? How many drinks? Wine only? What time should I start — or stop?
This kind of mental chatter around alcohol is one of the “soft signs” that may indicate that it’s time to examine your relationship with alcohol, said Dr. Hannah Snyder, an addiction psychiatrist at Cleveland Clinic.
But it can be hard for some people to recognize these signs, in part because alcohol is so ubiquitous in our society, said Dr. Charles Knowles, professor of surgery at Queen Mary University of London and the author of “Why We Drink Too Much.”
People can be uneasy about their drinking, he added, even if it doesn’t meet the criteria for alcohol use disorder, a medical condition characterized by an inability to stop drinking, even if it harms a person’s safety, health or relationships.
Nearly half of Americans are trying to drink less, according to a 2025 Gallup poll, and a majority of those surveyed believed that even moderate alcohol consumption was bad for health.
If you’re re-evaluating your relationship to alcohol, here are some other signs experts said you should pay attention to.
You’ve tried and failed to cut back before
Stephen Holt, director of the Addiction Recovery Clinic at the Yale School of Medicine, pointed to the CAGE questionnaire, an informal screening test used by clinicians to detect problematic alcohol consumption.
One of the four questions is: Have you tried, unsuccessfully, to limit how much you drink?
“If you’re that person who says, ‘All right, this is the year I’m going to restrain myself,’ and you’re not able to meet that goal, then that’s a concern,” Dr. Holt said.
Dry January can be useful as a “socially acceptable, low-stakes experiment to see how you feel,” Dr. Snyder said. “And it isn’t as scary for people as saying, ‘I’m never going to have a drink again.’” It also comes with a lot of built-in social support, she added.
You’re unsure how much alcohol you’re consuming
The U.S. Dietary Guidelines recommend limiting alcohol consumption to no more than one drink per day for women and no more than two drinks per day for men. (Some experts believe that any amount of alcohol is harmful.)
But sometimes you may lose track of how much alcohol you’re consuming, Dr. Snyder said. “Maybe you’re watching the game, and you don’t necessarily pay attention to how many drinks you’re having,” she said. Or your drinking, over the years, has had a “gradual creep upward,” she added.
Dr. Knowles, himself a recovering alcoholic who had his last drink 10 years ago, recommends keeping a journal for a week, and writing down exactly how much you drink, down to the ounce. The number might surprise you, he said.
You lean on alcohol to get through events
Dr. Snyder says she often hears from patients that they rely on a drink to get through a party or to relax after their kids have gone to bed.
Some people who are not by definition alcoholics “nevertheless have come to rely on alcohol as a crutch to help them get by in their daily lives,” Dr. Knowles wrote in his book.
Dr. Knowles suggested asking yourself: Why, specifically, am I reaching for a drink? Is it to de-stress, for example, or to feel better about myself?
Then consider alternatives to alcohol that can deliver a similar effect, Dr. Snyder said. If you opt for a drink to relax at night, she said, you can try wind-down routines such as reading or meditation or going for a walk. If you have social anxiety, she added, you might benefit from counseling.
You feel guilty or defensive about your drinking
Guilt about your drinking or annoyance when people bring it up are also notable signs, Dr. Holt said.
“If you find yourself getting defensive if a loved one or a friend or a co-worker says, ‘Hey, you were kind of lit up last night at that party,’ that’s worth paying attention to,” he said.
If you’re uneasy about your alcohol intake, try chatting with a friend who is in recovery about their experience, Dr. Snyder suggested. You can also talk to your primary care physician or a therapist, she said. Treatments range from counseling to medication.
Joining a support group can also be helpful, said A. Benjamin Srivastava, an assistant professor of clinical psychiatry at Columbia University Irving Medical Center.
In virtual meetings, such as those hosted by Alcoholics Anonymous, “you don’t have to talk,” Dr. Snyder said. “You can stay muted the entire time if you want, and just get the lay of the land.”
And there are many options in addition to Alcoholics Anonymous, Dr. Holt said. He recommends the Phoenix, a national sober community that focuses on being active; Smart Recovery, which uses cognitive behavioral therapy; and Refuge Recovery, which focuses on Buddhist principles.
If you don’t find the right group at first, keep trying, Dr. Holt said. “It’s like buying a pair of jeans.”
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Let’s keep the conversation going. Follow Well on Instagram, or write to us at [email protected]. And check out last week’s newsletter about questions to ask yourself for a happier New Year.
Jancee Dunn, who writes the weekly Well newsletter for The Times, has covered health and science for more than 20 years.
The post Rethinking Your Drinking? Watch for These 5 Signs. appeared first on New York Times.
