Apparently, we can learn a thing or two about love from penguins.
Perhaps one of the most wholesome dating trends I’ve written about, “pebbling” is inspired by penguins and their adorable habit of courting mates with carefully picked pebbles. Here’s all you need to know about practice pebbling in your dating life—and some tips for success.
What Is ‘Pebbling’? Inside the New Dating Trend Everyone’s Talking About.
The dating trend “pebbling” is directly inspired by penguin behavior. As part of a courtship ritual, some male penguins will carefully select a pebble for their female mates. If the female penguin accepts it, this typically means she agrees to mate.
Pebbling follows a similar concept in human relationships, too. Of course, the “pebbles” are usually replaced with gifts or gestures like handwritten letters or even playlists.
“Sending memes, links, and videos to others isn’t trivial. It signals that you’re thinking of them and want them to share your joy,” Adam Grant, organizational psychologist, shared on X last year. “It’s known as pebbling, based on penguins gifting pebbles to potential partners. Pebbling is an act of care. Every pebble is a bid for connection.”
These shared moments can help partners feel more understood, seen, and valued.
“This charming concept has captivated many, and has sparked various conversations about the ways we express affection through small, thoughtful gestures,” said Mark Travers, Ph.D., in his Psychology Today article on the topic. “However, according to most, the sharing of memes, videos, and links seems to be the most relatable and widespread form of pebbling. It’s a delightful notion that, just like Gentoo penguins, we have our own ways of showing love and appreciation—through simple acts that show our other half that they’re on our minds.
How to Partake in ‘Pebbling’
1. Share Your Favorite Songs
I will stand by the idea that music is a love language. Sharing your favorite songs with another person is possibly one of the most intimate acts. To take it a step further, create a playlist with all the songs that remind you of your person or that you think they’d like. Then, play it when you’re together so you can bond over your mutual love for music.
2. Deliver Handwritten Love Letters
Perhaps the most romantic gesture of all time is writing a love letter to your person. Not only does this require your time and energy, but it also asks you to reflect on your feelings toward your partner. We all want to feel seen and adored, and reading a letter that details someone’s love for us is the ultimate “pebble.”
3. Surprise Them With Gifts
Instead of presenting a pebble to your lover as a sign of affection, why not surprise them with a small gift? To be loved is to be known, which is why gift-giving is such a popular love language. If you see something your partner would like, even if it’s an inexpensive trinket, don’t pass it by. Even the tiniest of gifts can carry the deepest of meanings. Sentimental treasures far outweigh pricy items anyway.
4. Send Photos Instead of Just Texts
Rather than texting back and forth when you’re apart, send photos of your day to your lover so they feel like they’re experiencing it with you. For example, if you’re on a walk, snap a picture of your view and add a message like “Wish you were here.” These seemingly small gestures remind us we’re loved, valued, and missed.
The post ‘Pebbling’ Is a Dating Trend I Can Actually Get Behind appeared first on VICE.
