The closer we get to the new year, the more motivated many of us feel to start fresh and courageously pursue our dreams. January often brings a renewed energy that inspires action, but unfortunately, it doesn’t always last as long as we’d hoped. In fact, previous research has found that only 6 percent of people actually stick to their New Year’s resolutions.
Surely, with that track record, we must be going about it the wrong way. In my experience, the stricter I am with my plans, the less committed I end up being to them. Instead of preparing for the new year with dread and anxiety, I turn it into a spiritual ritual of sorts—one that excites, inspires, and fuels me.
Here are four valuable ways to plan for the year ahead—so you can actually follow through on your resolutions.
1. Create a ‘Higher Self’
Ask yourself who you want to be in the new year. Do you want to show up more confident and fierce, or are you hoping to soften a bit, exuding a warm, inviting energy to those around you? Maybe you’d like to lead through self-expression, living a more creative life, or perhaps you’re craving more structure and discipline.
Figure out how you want to show up in the next chapter of your love. What does your daily routine look like? How do you show your love and support to your loved ones? What are some habits you stick to and passions you pursue? Write them down as though they’re already a part of you. Visualize what it would look like to show up as this version of yourself, and embody that vision in the new year.
2. Name Your Priorities
Most of us are just trying to stay afloat today, our priorities being more practical than fulfilling. Creativity feels impossible—or even irresponsible—to channel when you can barely afford groceries. And why schedule dinner plans with loved ones when you could work an extra hour to make more money? Why wake up an hour early to exercise when you need to catch up on much-needed rest?
With a scarcity mindset, your passions become privileges. However, we are not meant to live this way. Of course, this conversation is nuanced, and not everyone has the luxury to put aside time for themselves. But if you can name a few additional priorities, whether it be daily movement or weekly date nights with your lover, you will slowly take your power back.
When we lean into our own priorities—you know, the ones that aren’t predetermined by fear and insecurity—we begin to feel more in alignment with our truest selves. Operating from authenticity helps us in other ways, too. We tend to feel more confident, which might help with career advancement and, in turn, financial stability. We also become more energized and positive, which does wonders for our health and well-being.
Going into the new year, jot down some of your top priorities, and align your daily routines with them. You’ll be shocked by how well you can stick to them without burning yourself out.
3. Create Personal Promises
I prefer to call New Year’s resolutions “personal promises,” as they sound sweeter and more achievable that way. These can be as simple as “speak more kindly to myself” and “dedicate more time to yoga,” and as complex as “launch a new podcast” and “save enough money for a house downpayment.”
These personal promises hold us accountable to ourselves and our individual growth. Too often, we give our time and energy to others without any consideration of our own needs and desires. These resolutions will preserve your sense of self.
4. Expose Yourself to Fear
(Note: It’s always best to address mental health struggles with a professional.)
As someone who struggles with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), I recently decided to start exposure therapy to face some of my fears and phobias head-on. At first, I felt like I was jumping out of a plane without a parachute. Now, after just a few months, I feel more like I’m floating through life, unburdened by my anxieties and insecurities.
Choose three intrusive thoughts or fears that are currently holding you back. For example, perhaps you’re dreaming of traveling to Europe, but you’re too afraid of flying to even consider booking the trip. Or maybe you’re so preoccupied with your appearance that you avoid wearing a bathing suit at the beach and spend more time in front of the mirror than out in the world. You might not even realize just how much these anxieties are holding you back from adventure, experience, love, and fulfillment.
Once you’ve chosen the subject of your exposure, it’s time to set some small goals. Ideally, you’d do this with a therapist.
Remember that baby steps still move you forward. Don’t rush yourself to the finish line, or you’ll only end up reinforcing your feeling of unsafety and terror. Rather, slowly but surely, expose yourself to each fear until you feel comfortable enough facing it head-on.
Warning: the power and pride you gain from this practice are addictive. You might just gain enough confidence and courage to unapologetically manifest your dream life.
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