Good news for nerds: you’ll be getting the credit you deserve in 2026’s dating scene.
According to the Millennial Intimacy Forecast for 2026 by Dating.com, 71% of respondents say nerds are sexy, proving that more daters are finally factoring in personality when searching for potential partners. Of course, that’s not to say that nerds aren’t physically attractive. Rather, it shows that fewer people will be wooed by superficial charm or lust-fueled chemistry. Instead, they’ll search for deeper connections and more emotional attraction.
“Millennials are reshaping the meaning of intimacy, companionship, boundaries, and even what it means to ‘be together,’” the report states. “They are widely considered the burnout generation for a reason. They came of age during financial crises, unstable job markets, the rise of hustle culture, and a decade of ‘always-on’ digital life. Their emotional bandwidth has been stretched for so long that exhaustion isn’t an episode—it’s a baseline.”
Smart Is Sexy Now, and Nerds Are About to Run Dating Apps
Given these facts, it’s understandable that Millennials are questioning the current (toxic) dating culture, neglecting the superficial, time-wasting dating trends that have dominated 2025.
“After years of carrying more emotional load than any generation before them, it’s no surprise that today’s dating and friendship dynamics look radically different, shaped by the rise of virtual intimacy as a sustainable way to connect,” the report continues. “This year’s findings show a culture that has hit emotional capacity—and is now rebuilding its relationship norms from the ground up.”
What will 2026 hold for Millennials in the dating world? More nerdiness, hopefully.
What Defines a ‘Nerd’ In This Context?
According to the report, nerds aren’t just “educated” and “capable” individuals. No, the definition digs far deeper than that.
The attractive nerds are the “actual nerds: bookworms, Dungeons & Dragons players, obsessives with deep knowledge about niche topics,” the report states.
The Millennial Intimacy Forecast referred to this phenomenon as “substance attraction,” which is basically attraction stemming from a genuine emotional connection, with a focus on someone’s character, intelligence, and depth.
You might be wondering…why the uptick in this form of dating at this time? (And why didn’t it occur sooner?)
According to the report, the sudden shift is “because millennials grew up with chaos—financial crises, political volatility, burnout culture.”
“What’s attractive now is stability, competence, and someone who can disappear into a passion instead of disappearing from the relationship,” the report states. “Nerds have depth, interests, and consistency. They don’t perform cool—they live in whatever they genuinely care about.”
Why Nerds Are Winning on Dating Apps
According to Jaime Bronstein, LCSW, resident therapist at Dating.com, while nerdiness might have been a turnoff in more shallow dating contexts, it is now considered a green flag. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be with someone with passion and intelligence?
“Superficial charm and constant self-display are taking a back burner,” says Bronstein. “People are looking for safety, emotional maturity, and stability over emotional flight.”
Sounds like the dream, to be honest. These are all admirable traits to find in a partner. Long gone are the days of prioritizing physical appearance and “charm” above an attractive personality and actual connection. At least, for me—and 71% of Millennials, apparently.
“Bottom line: classic intelligence and emotional intelligence are attractive!” Bronstein explains. “Someone genuinely interested in a subject brings presence, intrigue, and consistency in a relationship. These are qualities that were long unrewarded by social media clout, yet now are regaining their status in the dating landscape.”
Additionally, Bronstein adds, “nerds” are often more sincere and emotionally deep. In today’s shallow, narcissistic dating world, these traits are a breath of fresh air.
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