This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with estate settlement company founder Alexandra Mysoor. It has been edited for length and clarity.
I was primarily raised in Minnesota, and on the first day we moved there, our next-door neighbor Carol arrived with a pie, like out of a movie. Her daughter Katie is still my best friend to this day.
Carol died a few years ago (her husband had passed before her), and I was at Katie’s house for the funeral. There was a to-do list fixed to the freezer door. I told Katie, whatever is on the list, I’ve got you.
I did not know how generous I was being, because that list was full of estate settlement tasks. I truly thought it would be easy. However, it took me 18 months and 900 hours to complete, which is an average amount of time for a simple estate.
Having a trust or a will is only one part of the puzzle
Most people don’t have wills. And it’s not based on socioeconomic status; people just forget to do it. Even if you have a well-formed trust, many people don’t update it. A trust or a will is like a map. However, you still have to fill up on gas, get in the car, and prepare everything. It’s a long journey.
Estate planning is important, but no matter how much planning you have in place, someone will have to take the journey.
Estate settlement is as important as estate planning
Most people don’t even know the phrase “estate settlement.” People’s minds go directly to planning. Many people are unaware that we’re authoring the first Wikipedia entry about it. Most people don’t know how time-consuming a settlement is or how expensive. It takes an average family $30,000 to settle an estate.
I think that’s surprising because everyone talks about the great wealth transfer that is expected to happen in the next decade and a half. It’s $100 trillion. It sounds like a great windfall, and it is. However, many people are aware of the net worth of celebrities like Hailey Bieber or Elon Musk, but not their own parents. The first step is discovering what was in this loved one’s estate.
Settling an estate is a lot of work
Everything in estate settlement is a point solution. You call a lawyer. Then a CPA. No one makes the whole thing easier. I was surprised by that. So, I created a solution. My company, Alix, helps people settle loved ones’ estates during such a vulnerable time.
At Alix, the 900 hours of administrative work are handled by agentic AI and humans. We forward mail, review bills, scan documents, handle life insurance, clean out the fridge, adjust the thermostat, park the car in the garage, cancel Netflix, make calls to financial institutions, return the cable box, and complete the necessary forms.
The families we work with have almost 24/7 access via the app or by calling, texting, and emailing. That was one of the most frustrating things about helping Katie; it was hard to get a call back. We can give families peace of mind about the process being more efficient. It’s like having a team of administrators, akin to a family office of the ultra-high net worth, to handle the complex work of settlement.
The holidays offer an interesting opportunity to increase situational awareness as a family. Perhaps that’s as simple as knowing where the account information is located. Parents often feel uncomfortable talking about money with their adult children; money and grief are very potent emotions. You can start the conversations now.
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