This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Clory Jackson, a 41-year-old VP in insurance technology, community organizer, and founder of The Brownsville Project, who lives in Brooklyn with her husband and two young children. It has been edited for length and clarity.
I knew before having children that raising a child was expensive, but I didn’t fully understand the monthly cost of childcare.
I juggle two remote jobs, as a VP at an insurance-tech company and founder of a nonprofit, while my husband works as a principal. Our 4-year-old daughter and 2-year-old son are in kindergarten and day care, and we pay $380 a week for full time day care and afterschool care in NYC. That’s a little under $20,000 a year on childcare alone.
We’ve had to make lifestyle changes to manage our costs, but it’s worth it for my kids to receive the care and education they need.
I can’t provide the care my son needs while working from home
After dropping my husband and kids off at work, school, and day care, I make my way home and work from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. We were fortunate that my son’s day care picks my daughter up and watches her after school, so I don’t have to pick the kids up until 6 p.m”
Since I work from home and take calls all day, I can’t provide the care and education my son needs. I don’t want a TV babysitting him all day. He needs active engagement from educators, socialization, time outside, and a routine. I wouldn’t be able to fulfill my duties at work, prepare meals, change diapers, and care for him if he stayed at home instead of daycare.
When we get home, we eat, then my husband and I try our best to wrangle the kids into taking a bath, brushing their teeth, and getting to bed. I’ll maybe sneak some more work in before getting to bed by 10 p.m. or 11 p.m.
We’re lucky to only pay $380 a week for daycare
Our last daycare had a beautiful center with a pedagogy for students, progress reports for infants, and three video updates a day through an app, but we couldn’t sustain the cost when I unexpectedly became pregnant with our youngest.
We had just closed on a fixer-upper condo and were in a tight spot. After looking around for options, we found an in-home daycare that was within our budget.
Still, some weeks we couldn’t afford the payment, and they’ve been forgiving and understanding. They’ve given us gentle reminders or waived it entirely when we were going through a rough patch, like when we had a death in the family.
Our current at-home daycare is less luxurious, but we know our kids are safe and loved, and that’s all that matters.
I’ve made several life changes to manage the cost
While our condo was under renovation, we moved back in with my parents briefly, who live in Maryland, and I had our youngest at WVU Hospital, which was much cheaper than giving birth in New York.
Both my kids used cloth diapers to save a couple of hundred dollars on even the cheapest diapers at Costco. We also shop at discount and bin stores to save money on clothes. I’ve bargain shopped for pleasure, but now it’s out of necessity.
I’ve also switched up my hair routine to braids instead of my natural hair. I spend less on products and wash my hair once a month, as it requires less frequent upkeep than natural hair care. The self-care standards for me, as a single person, versus me now, married with kids, have undergone a steep decline.
I’m working to provide for my family
In my opinion, childcare is a necessity, even if it’s still treated as a luxury by the working world. Every child deserves a good education, and what raising kids has shown me is that you get what you pay for.
I work and try to climb a career ladder because I want to provide for my family. I love my children and husband, and we need to afford and invest in their future. One of those investments right now is childcare.
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