“Saturday Night Live” took a break from its usual political cold opens to poke fun at Jensen Huang after reports of extramarital affairs led to his resignation from Nvidia.
Set at the CIA headquarters, host John Mulaney plays an official lecturing tech CEOs, including Meta’s Mark Zuckerberg (Andrew Dismukes), Anthropic’s Dario Amodei (Jane Wickline) and Tesla’s Elon Musk (Jeremy Culhane), about “a matter of national security.”
“America needs you to learn the difference between a woman who would actually want to have sex with you and a woman who is clearly a spy,” Mulaney tells them, referring to Huang’s affair with an alleged Chinese spy.
After outlining the controversy surrounding Huang, Mulaney asks: “What do you think the lesson is here?”
Wickline’s Amodei responds:“Never date a Chinese woman.”
“No,” Mulaney says.
“Never date a human woman,” Dismukes’s Zuckerberg tries.
“No,” Mulaney repeats.
Mulaney attempts to empathize, saying he “can’t imagine how disorienting” it has been for the group “to go from these bug-eyed little weirdos to being gods.”
He continues: “Never in the history of our species have people as pale and as strange as you, A: survived, and B: been given all the world’s wealth and power.”
Mulaney then asks the billionaires to picture all the people they dated before becoming famous. “Duds,” responds OpenAI’s Sam Altman (Ben Marshall).
“Now all of a sudden, someone very beautiful is interested in you. Why do you think that might be?” Mulaney asks.
“Because I have a great personality and normal human mannerisms,” Marshall says.
“Not quite,” Mulaney responds.
Mulaney tries a different tack. “Let’s say you’re at a bar and an attractive woman approaches you and asks you, ‘What are you working on?’ Dario, what do you say?”
Wickline’s Amodei responds: “I would say, ‘Madam, what a pleasure it is to see you this evening. May I interest you in an industry secret’.”
Mulaney then hands over his seminar to “someone who learned this lesson the hard way” — former cast member Bowen Yang as Huang.
“Ladies, when you invite Jensen over, you know what’s about to go down,” Yang says. “The S&P 500.″
Yang ends the cold open with one final piece of advice. “Fellas, don’t be like me. Remember, women don’t like guys like us. That’s how we became guys like us.”
Mulaney’s return to musical parodies
Once a writer on the show, Mulaney has become a mainstay on recent seasons of SNL. The comedian and actor has now hosted seven times and participated in the opening monologue segment of the recent 50th anniversary special alongside titans Steve Martin and Martin Short.
Mulaney brought back a now classic format for him. Originally conceived as “Diner Lobster,” the recurring sketch comments on weird aspects of New York City culture using parodies of Broadway show tunes. This time, Central Park and the recent horse-drawn carriage ban were the focus.
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