Miranda Devine: The Bidens are trying to brainwash everyone — but we all know their scandal-plagued truth

You may have thought it was a headline from the Babylon Bee: Hunter Biden Honored for “Outstanding Contribution to Public Discourse” from prestigious Trinity College Dublin. 

But it was true. 

Hunter Biden, the 56-year-old reformed crack and prostitute connoisseur of “Laptop from Hell” fame, visited his ancestral land to be so honored on Tuesday, accompanied by his suddenly compos mentis father, Joe, the former president. 

A Secret Service cavalcade of seven vehicles chauffeured Hunter and Joe to the university from Dublin’s finest five-star luxury Merrion hotel. 

We were told that Joe wiped tears from his eyes as his son, fully dressed, accepted Trinity’s gold medal for contributions to society amid glowing accolades from Irish Prime Minister Micheál Martin, who posted photos of their meeting on social media. 

Jesus wept. 

You will be seeing a lot more such gaslighting historical rewrites in coming weeks as Joe’s latest memoir, “Promise Me, America,” is published next Tuesday. 

You have to hand it to wily old Joe: the 83-year-old still knows how to garner positive press coverage. Unlike President Trump, he confines his utterances to gushingly friendly media, like People magazine, even when he’s supposed to be selling a book for which he received a $10 million advance. 

On Sunday, he used his stage 4 cancer diagnosis to excuse himself from additional promotional events for the book. 

In one of his more mind-blowing exchanges with People, Joe said that the disastrously addled debate performance that ended his bid for re-election in 2024 was “not very consequential . . . I don’t know anybody who hasn’t made a mistake in a debate.” 

‘I wasn’t hiding’

As for his health, he’s no longer at death’s door, apparently: “It looks very positive. There’s a lot of people who’ve been diagnosed with cancer, particularly the kind of cancer I have, who live long lives, who live for another 10, 20 years . . . 

“I’m not saying I’ll live forever but the point is that I have all my faculties.” 

See how smoothly he wipes away the memory of the cognitive impairment that we all saw accelerate throughout his presidency. 

He will carefully curate future appearances so that all that is left is the Biden myth of a decent and honest family man who was a good and consequential president and whose sole failing was a cancer that was diagnosed conveniently only after he was pushed aside and the knives started to come out. 

Lest you scoff, he has the timing covered too, describing in his book a “cynical twist” on his cancer diagnosis, in which he was accused of hiding it so he could keep running for re-election. 

“A lot of people do that. They hide bad news from the public if they’re elected officials. I didn’t do that . . . I wasn’t hiding it at all.” 

Joe would never lie. 

Also, Hunter is a saint. He has “more moral and physical courage than most people I know.” 

People happened to be at the Biden family’s “lake house” compound in Greenville, Del., two days after the midterm election. 

Joe was happy as Larry. 

“I don’t think the election could have gone any better,” he said in a video excerpt of the interview. 

“I was very happy. I wasn’t all that surprised really . . . but I was really pleased that the American people [didn’t] fall for the bravado of the Republican leadership and Trump in particular.” 

Jill was cock-a-hoop about the election result thrilled, too. She loves James Talarico. 

“I do think, when history is written, the true story . . . of all [Joe’s] years in office [will be told],” she said, “and people will realize, not just what a great president he was, but what a great man he is.” 

Bold hypocrisy 

Only if the Bidens brainwash all the historians, which is, of course, why Joe gathered so many pet leftist historical authors around him for intimate gatherings at the White House. Jon Meacham, Doris Kearns Goodwin and Michael Beschloss were among those who murmured sweet nothings in Joe’s ear and told him he was the second coming of FDR. 

But history will have a very different take on Biden’s legacy, no matter how many lies are spun in this latest attempt to gloss his failed presidency. 

Take his beef that Trump reversed the “successful policies pursued by my administration.” 

In a book extract published this week by The Atlantic, Biden says the reversals happened because of the “dismissive and destructive nature of Donald Trump, who seemed unable to tolerate the idea that someone else’s accomplishments might be worth building on rather than tearing down.” 

This is hypocrisy so dishonest it takes your breath away. 

Maybe Biden has forgotten who his predecessor was. Trump! 

Biden did exactly to Trump what he complains Trump did to his asinine and destructive policies — and then some. 

In his first 100 days, Biden signed more than 60 executive actions, of which 24 were “direct reversals of Trump policies,” CNN reported. Ten of his first 12 executive orders reversed Trump immigration measures. 

Worse, Biden tried to erase Trump into the future, presiding over a censorship regime befitting China and weaponizing the DOJ, Kremlin-style, against Trump and his allies. He maliciously locked up hundreds of non-violent Trump supporters without trial over Jan. 6 and maligned half the country as “semi-fascist ultra-MAGA” in a series of angry, ranting speeches we have tried to forget. 

“The last president of the United States issued executive orders I felt were very counterproductive to our security, counterproductive to who we are as a country, particularly in the area of immigration,” Biden declared on Feb. 2, 2021, as he signed the orders in the Oval Office and flung open the border to all comers. 

The facts are clear 

The rest is catastrophic history that can never be unwritten: the largest border invasion in US history — as many as 25 million illegal aliens, mainly from the Third World, unvetted on criminal, terrorist or character grounds. 

Left-wing nonprofits then set about registering them to vote for absolutely no reason at all, since Democrats constantly assure us there is no way these non-citizens would vote because that would be illegal. 

Lest we forget, Biden did a lot else that was bad and wrong, like botching the withdrawal from Afghanistan, which killed 13 service members for no reason other than incompetence, and leaving the Taliban and their pals in China $7 billion of US military hardware. 

He also presided over a 21% increase in prices over his term, thanks to flagrant government spending, that can never be undone, not to mention a turbocharging of welfare fraud. 

From the Democrat side of the ledger, Biden bequeathed the presidency to Trump by insisting that, at a doddering 82, he should serve a second term — and when that proved impossible, endorsing the unelectable “Brat Summer” Kamala. 

Clearly, Biden thinks he would have won the 2024 election, slyly slipping a claim into his memoir that Trump told him when they met in the Oval Office for the last time “that he’d been relieved he didn’t have to run against me.” 

Sure thing, Corn Pop.

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