Never underestimate the resoluteness of a 3-year-old. I was reminded of this — and several other things I’d forgotten about toddlers and parenting — when I spent a week with my son and his beautifully busy family, which includes a new rescue pup named Peaches.
Because my kids span two generations — my son is about to be 41, and my youngest daughter just turned 21 — I’m a grandmother with two college-aged daughters.
Fresh off an early morning flight, my son picked me up, and it was go-time for Grammy. He and his wife both work full-time and are fortunate to have grandparents nearby who provide afternoon day care for 6-year-old Landon and 3-year-old Sloan. When I visit, it gives them a break.
I have to think about things I haven’t thought of for decades
Weekday afternoons mean pick-up from two different schools, and then, because Grammy can do whatever she wants, we stop for ice cream.
Running around with little ones was a test for my middle-aged zen. The subconscious maternal checklists spark back to life. Is everyone buckled correctly? Do they have a snack? And then, because I like to have something to worry about at all times, I reviewed what I’d do if one of the kids were to choke while I’m driving.
Things I haven’t thought about in decades come into hyper focus. The specific patience required for dealing with young kids is a muscle I haven’t exercised in months. When the newly potty-trained 3-year-old announces she has to go to the bathroom — and we’re somewhere with no bathroom, it’s back to the car to find one fast. We did.
At Scoops, I threw caution to the wind and let them order “Superman” and “Cotton Candy” ice cream, which probably contained some kind of problematic food dye based on the bright colors.
Back at home, I attempted to get a head start on Landon’s first-grade homework before jiujitsu. I was happy to see that this involved 10 minutes of daily reading. “Readers are leaders,” I said to him half-seriously, secretly hoping the words would stick. He wanted to do anything but sit down, and he is a fearless negotiator. Feeling my frustration rise, I reminded myself that I couldn’t talk to him the way I might’ve talked to his father at that age. Instead, I explained to him calmly that in the time we’d been talking about why he didn’t want to read right then, we could’ve been done.
My son understands me more now
My daughter-in-law was away on a work trip for a couple of days, which meant it was my time to shine. Like any household with young children, things get messy quickly. Fully caffeinated after morning drop-off, I cleaned and straightened, and genuinely enjoyed doing the kids’ laundry.
My son, who admitted he’d been judgy about the messes his little sisters made when they were this age, was appreciative. We laughed about how fully he understands now. I knew my daughter-in-law would appreciate coming home to a clean house, however short-lived.
I was also reminded of how many different directions parents are pulled in. Especially moms, working or not, because there are significantly more moments, especially with a toddler, when they want mommy and only mommy.
I’d forgotten the challenges of dining out with young kids. When Sloan went from happily climbing back and forth across her brother in the booth to angrily yelling (in the earnest way only a 3-year-old can), “Landon, stop looking at me,” I reminded myself that it wasn’t necessary for me to say or do anything, except to try not to laugh. Her two capable parents were there, and this wasn’t my problem to solve. The realization that I have the luxury of simply enjoying my grandkids was freeing.
It was a fully immersive experience (I even slept in my grandson’s room with a hammock filled with stuffies watching over me), priceless quality time. Landon has a sharp sense of humor, and there’s nothing better than seeing the subtle humor in something and then the recognition in his eyes. We played a cool Pokémon board game and ruthless rounds of UNO. On after-school car rides, we listened to Nick Bean’s “Chicken Nugget” more times than I’d recommend.
On my last night there, the stars aligned and Sloan was in the mood for a bedtime story and some snuggles. She gave big hugs and kisses to last until next time, and said, “I love you, Grammy Jen.” My eyes welled up, and I thought my heart might burst. Tiny moments like this will stay with me forever. I want to collect them all.
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