Jimmy Kimmel celebrated the midterm elections’ Blue Tsunami as it was unfolding on Tuesday night, proudly explaining to President Donald Trump exactly why things didn’t go his way.
“After all the talk about Nicki Minaj’s ass, Jon Husted’s ass, the only ass on Trump’s mind tonight is the one that just got handed to him,” Kimmel said atop his “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” monologue. “The Democrats took so many seats, JD Vance can’t even find one to have sex with him tonight.”
The ABC comedian also poked fun at how Trump handled his losses, proudly calling him “All Caps-tain Kangaroo” and noting that he was “reportedly angry and cursing as the result came in.”
“Just like every woman he’s ever slept with, voters are unsatisfied with the job he’s doing,” Kimmel remarked. “If you really look at them, his priorities are insane; no relation to what Americans are worried about.”
The host then took a slightly more serious approach, highlighting key issues facing the country, such as: corruption, inflation, climate change, war, wealth disparity, health care, housing, measles, democracy and even AI; versus the ones MAGA appears to be focused on: transgender, testosterone, Black Helen of Troy, windmills, ballrooms, Mexicans, reflecting pools, racism against whites, Tylenol and Canada.”
“The Blue Wave made landfall — and now the Red Wedding begins,” Kimmel concluded. “The bad news is: I guess we’re not getting that $5,000.”
Indeed, the Democrats are projected to flip both the House and the Senate following major victories in states like Texas, North Carolina, Kansas and Maine, just to name a few.
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