There’s a popular saying that it takes a village to raise a child.
I’d always understood the saying as a metaphor. But when my husband and I decided to build a house on the same property where my parents, younger siblings, and my brother’s fiancé live, that adage became a lot more literal.
Now, we’re raising our daughter on our “family compound,” with our village right next door.
A compound wasn’t the initial plan, but living here has been an incredible experience
Although my family had jokingly talked about building houses next door to each other since I was a child, we never thought we could make that a reality.
However, the arrangement started to materialize in 2024. At the time, my husband and I were living about 15 minutes from my childhood home, which was bursting at the seams with my three siblings, my brother’s fiancé, both my parents, and their two adorable golden retrievers.
My parents had been searching for a larger home for years, but eventually decided to purchase a piece of land in our Massachusetts hometown.
Here, they built a house big enough for all six of them to live together comfortably, and realized there was enough room left on the property for my husband and me to build our own house if we wanted to.
They began construction on their home that same year, and not long after, my husband and I decided to sell our existing home and break ground on a new place on the property.
In total, nine family members and three dogs live in the two houses, which are just a short walk away from each other.
We’ve now been living here for six months and couldn’t ask for a better living arrangement. I love being able to see my siblings off for their first day of school or prom night, having game nights with my family, and enjoying slow, cozy days watching football together.
Not only are my husband and I fortunate enough to have our built-in best friends only a short walk away, but we also get to watch our daughter grow up with direct access to her grandparents, aunts, and uncles.
It’s nice that we never have to worry about finding a sitter we trust, as my family members love to keep an eye on her for any reason, from a date night to me squeezing in a workout while my husband is out.
Even having one of my younger siblings pop over and play with our daughter while we get chores done around the house makes a huge difference.
Childcare is expensive, especially in Massachusetts, and we are forever grateful that we don’t have to take on that financial burden.
And although my family spends a lot of time together, and have some shared spaces (like a pool and a detached garage), we never feel like we’re on top of each other.
In fact, there are plenty of days I don’t even see my family members because of busy school and work schedules.
Plus, we’re all very respectful of boundaries. If we borrow each other’s clothes, we wash and return them. If we want to take a snack from someone else’s pantry, we ask first.
The living arrangement feels like a continuation of our close-knit relationship
I’m frequently asked why my siblings and I would want to live in such close proximity to each other and to my parents.
To me, though, it just felt like a continuation of something that my parents had already created. They were incredibly intentional about keeping our family close while we were growing up, so as adults, we naturally want to spend time together.
Plus, my parents never weighed the success of their parenting on whether we got into fancy colleges, established huge careers, or moved away to be “independent.”
They believe their parenting will have been successful if their kids want to spend their time with them and each other. Their goal was to raise us to want to be each other’s best friends.
The next question I’m typically asked is how my husband feels about the arrangement. Honestly, he was just as excited as I was to build a house next to my parents. Now, he loves playing basketball outside with my brother, and luckily, his side of the family lives just 10 minutes away — so, we spend lots of time with them, too.
Unfortunately, our current property isn’t large enough to accommodate additional houses, so as our family continues to change and expand, we’ve already begun looking for a bigger piece of land down south that can accommodate each sibling, should they someday want houses of their own.
Our current setup is perfect for this stage in our lives, but we want to make sure there is always room for all of us if we want to continue living together on the same property.
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