As the 2026 midterm campaign enters its final weeks, “Saturday Night Live” offered a few suggestions for encouraging messages that prominent Republicans could put out to shore up the party’s electoral base.
This weekend’s “S.N.L.” broadcast, hosted by Dakota Johnson and featuring the musical guest Turnstile, began with a pair of Republican officials (Andrew Dismukes and Ashley Padilla) fretting over recent polling but hoping that some new advertisements from the party’s heavy hitters could get them back on track.
To record their first advertisement, the officials welcomed in Marcello Hernández as Secretary of State Marco Rubio. (“Oh, please,” Hernández said modestly. “Call me Little Marco.)
Hernández stood in front of a camera and offered what he said was a message for his “fellow Spanish speakers about President Trump.”
Speaking in Spanish that was accompanied by English captions, Hernández said, “Oh my God! He tricked us! And he tricked me too! He said, ‘Do Venezuela. Easy. Two days. Boom, boom!’ And then he says, ‘Forget Venezuela, now Iran.’ Which is it? Venezuela, Iran. Venezuela, Iran. Canada?”
Jeremy Culhane, playing Vice President JD Vance, eagerly stuck his head into the room, saying, “You rang?”
Dismukes replied, “Could you go in the hall and get the next person?”
Culhane brought in Mikey Day, in a wheelchair, playing Senator Mitch McConnell. Despite Padilla’s repeated calls of “Action!” Day did little more than stare at the camera and slowly make a peace sign. When Day began to speak, he said “Live from New York —” before he was cut off.
As the Republican officials wondered aloud if they had anyone who could connect with voters and wasn’t a liability, Colin Jost entered as the Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth. “No,” Jost said, “but you’ve got me.”
Jost shotgunned a can of beer (which he said was a nonalcoholic brand) and addressed his audience, saying “I need all you patriots at home to do the gayest thing ever, and vote.” He added, “If you’re stationed overseas, you can still vote by mail — which is the only ‘by mail’ I’m cool with.”
The Republican officials thought they were done cutting their ads, but of course you can’t have an opening sketch without James Austin Johnson as President Trump.
“Let me cook,” Johnson said as he stepped in front of camera.
He added, “If the Republicans win, I’ll give everyone $5,000, and that is not a bribe because I have no intention of following through on that promise.”
Asked if he would record a message for a potential Republican victory on Election Day, Johnson said, “We did it! We won. Nobody has ever won so much before.”
And when asked to record a message in case of defeat, Johnson said, “We did it! We won.”
Monologue guest of the week
During her opening monologue, the host Dakota Johnson said she’s had some recent trouble with musicians — she has broken up with a couple of them, and even turned down the offer of a long-stemmed red rose from Leon Pendarvis, an “S.N.L.” musical director and longtime member of its house band.
But then Johnson got an unexpected assist from another musician: Taylor Swift, who featured Johnson in her new video for “Patient Zero,” and who made a surprise walk-on during the monologue.
“My literal therapist,” Johnson said, pointing to Swift.
“I’m not your therapist, actually,” Swift replied. “You just show up once a week at my house with an empty bottle of wine and ask if I want some.”
“Yeah,” Johnson said. “I have manners.”
“And then,” an increasingly morose Swift continued, “you flop on my couch and overshare and every so often I just say, ‘Damn that’s crazy.’”
Weekend Update jokes of the week
Over at the Weekend Update desk, the anchors Jost and Michael Che continued to riff on Hegseth’s remarks, as well as other recent developments in the Trump White House.
Jost: “Well, this week Defense Secretary and A.A. sponsor’s nightmare, Pete Hegseth, said that new U.S. military standards mean ‘no more drag shows, no fatties, no beardos, no weirdos, no wimps, no radicals.’ So basically he’s banning the entire career of Mike Myers. Also this week the White House removed CNN from the press pool covering President Trump’s trip to Texas — midflight.” [His screen showed a graphic of journalists falling out of Air Force One.]
Che: “President Trump, who now has the exact same posture as Bullwinkle, said he convinced A.I. executives to sign a deal that is ‘morally binding.’ You know, like the Devil. President Trump is now claiming that the new White House ballroom will have armed drones. And a moat. And an elevator. And a laser gun and a giant waterslide.” [As Che affected a childlike voice, his screen showed a child’s sketch of what this all might look like, signed D. Trump.]
Weekend Update guest of the week
An oddly overstuffed Weekend Update had no shortage of deskside visitors to choose from, including Day and Hernández as video game characters from a remake of “The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time” and the new “Grand Theft Auto VI,” which will both be released on the same day next month; and Sarah Sherman as a professional matchmaker looking to set Che up with J.K. Rowling and Mrs. Potato Head.
But this week we’ll give the edge to Kam Patterson, who delivered a spirited commentary on the possible return of the TV musical comedy-drama “Glee” — only to be dressed down by Che, who saw through the deception.
“You don’t have to say yes to every idea the white writers pitch to you,” Che said, encouraging Patterson to talk about things that were more personally meaningful to him.
“Can I talk about the time I got robbed during a threesome?” Patterson asked.
Budget disparity of the week
When HBO wants to depict a dragon on one of its many shows in the “Game of Thrones” fantasy franchise, it has millions of dollars to spend and many weeks and months for its special effects artists to get it just right. And when “S.N.L.” wants to have a fire-breathing dragon in its parody of a “Game of Thrones”-style boudoir scene, well, let’s just say George R.R. Martin doesn’t have to worry about the competition. Still there’s something oddly charming about the shabby design for Thoraxis (as the “S.N.L.” dragon is known) and seeing him will embolden you if you have any children who need help assembling their Halloween costumes.
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