New York City is expensive, even when you’re employed. If you happen to be job hunting, that expense hits even harder.
In 2024, about a year after I was laid off, I was facing a difficult decision: Should I stay in NYC, drain the rest of my savings, and hope to land a job soon? Or should I, an adult in my 30’s, just call it and move back in with my parents in the New England suburbs?
My pride reared up against leaving. It felt like an admission of defeat and giving up a part of myself. After all, who was I if not an anxious, depressed, and unhealthy corporate worker?
In the end, with no work leads, I couldn’t justify the cost of staying and spinning my wheels. So in January 2025, I left the big city behind me, tail firmly tucked between my legs, and moved back home.
Success is about how you sell it
After the layoff, I began to see how my mental health had suffered during my tenure at my old job. Putting aside anxiety, bouts of hives, and the unhealthy habits I’d developed, the most significant loss was my confidence. Without it, I was floundering.
At the suggestion of loved ones, I started working with a career coach, who sat with me as I struggled to articulate what I actually wanted to accomplish in my life.
My coach encouraged me to focus on defining success in terms of what would actually make me happier and more fulfilled. I knew I didn’t want to return to my old job, but I still couldn’t kick the impulse to chase that kind of paycheck and job title, and the respect I thought it would earn me.
Progress took time
With the benefit of career coaching, I had hoped my luck would turn quickly once I moved back home. But it took another five months for me to land a role. It was part time at a non-profit, without benefits or substantial pay, but I couldn’t afford to turn it down.
As a newly minted operations manager, I joined a small team and got to work on creating organizational systems, untangling billing issues, and handling day-to-day tasks. As my little victories stacked up, I could feel my confidence slowly building again.
Sure, I was still living at home, I still didn’t have a full-time job, but I was realizing that I have a special ability to wade into chaos and get things done. In fact, I’m pretty good at it. I just needed the reminder that I could do it.
I started directing this drive toward aspects of my life beyond work. I got serious about my health and lost 40 pounds, I wrote a rough draft of a book, started dating again, and even planned a short trip to Ireland for my 35th birthday.
I still have less than I did before I got laid off, but my life feels so much fuller now.
My choices paid off
It’s been almost two years since I moved back home, and I just recently found the right full-time job for me, after turning down a few other opportunities that were too similar to my previous job.
I’ll be honest, if I knew how long this road was going to be when I got laid off, I might not have gotten out of bed. Today, I’m grateful that I couldn’t afford to be too proud to.
Who knows, maybe one day I’ll even be able to move out of my parents’ house.
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