I always knew selling our house in Washington and moving across the country to live with my parents in Maryland was not my dream.
However, the practical side of me thought it might at least be a good idea.
For several years, my partner and I had been struggling with the high cost of living in Western Washington. And, like many millennials, I’ve struggled to juggle parenting, work, and a social life.
By moving, I hoped we’d feel less stretched financially and mentally, and that our daughter (who was 2 years old at the time) would have more support from and involvement with her grandparents.
As much as we loved Washington and the friends and family members we had there, we decided to take a risk and pursue a different life across the country.
I spent months hawking our things on Facebook Marketplace and our local “Buy Nothing” group. We sold our house, said goodbye to our community, and crammed the rest of our belongings into a truck and a small U-Haul.
One week and many hours of driving later, we pulled up to my childhood home and moved in.
Moving in with my parents was a smart financial decision — but I’ve lost a lot
Living with my parents in Maryland has come with a lot of clear benefits.
My daughter gets to have rich involvement with a lot of our adult relatives, including daily interactions with her grandparents. I get support from nearby family members who can often provide care for her when I need it.
My partner and I no longer have a mortgage to cover or any of the other expenses that come with owning a home. We have a community style of living that means shared responsibilities for things like making dinner and taking care of household costs.
Despite the support and financial benefits, there are many things I miss since moving. I’ve thought of Washington as its own “person” in my story to mourn losing.
I fell in love with our slice of the state, a small walkable city right on the Puget Sound. I treasured the environment where we lived — full of rich outdoor adventures, moody weather moments, magical sunny days when they came, and the best coffee culture.
We left behind a small but mighty community, and moving back home meant starting over.
A year later, I’m still working to make deep connections, and I have many days when I feel lonely.
The last time I lived in Maryland was more than 10 years ago, so I didn’t have a group of friends here waiting for me. I’ve had to dive into building a community from scratch, which can take a lot of time.
I’m still deciding if the trade-offs were worth it
Though I grew up in Maryland, it still doesn’t feel like home as much as Washington did.
I know we’re in the right place for us right now, but I can’t help but wonder about the life I left behind. Were the higher costs of living worth it? Should I trade this newfound financial stability for a scrappier, penny-pinching life with a fuller heart?
Perhaps finding community and falling in love with the place I live now just takes more time than I’m willing to give at the moment.
Either way, for now, I’m embracing the financial stability and family support this move has given me, even as I continue to miss our life in Washington.
Maybe the real lesson is that financial decisions can’t be measured in dollars alone — and sometimes the biggest cost is what you give up.
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